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The One Who Shook My World

An inside look at the beginning of a narcissistic relationship.

The way we fell in love, it was like a movie. Not like those where you spot someone from across the room and know they are the one you want to grow old with. No, this was a slow-growing overwhelming sense of desire, need, and lust for one another. Our bodies found their way forming into a beautiful masterpiece when we were together. Our minds spoke words you could never imagine. I was the dreamer and he the realist. Which, in itself, is funny to say considering the goals we had had for our lives when we first began talking. 

His life goal, then and now, is to be rich, change the world, and be his own boss. Mine was to settle down, fall in love, have a family. Where ours met in the middle were the possibilities of both. He—or we rather—still may become rich, powerful, and change the world. This is something I would love to do as well. Well, my dream of children died when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. This really just meant to the both of us that we could have the life we wanted without the intrusion of little people. But still, in the daily his mind is always at work thinking mathematically and scientifically about the logical. What can and cannot happen and how each of those would work. He doesn’t do unrealistic things. It has to make sense in order for him to believe. He’s not against the unknown things there are no logical reasons for, but in order for him to believe it, he has to have logic, whereas I don’t really live that way. The easiest things in life make me happy. Animals, plants, nature. Someone smiling, the way the sky looks… swinging on a swing. Those are things in life that make me happy.

I can see it in his eyes, when he looks at me, knowing I’m a dreamer. Knowing how the little things make me happiest, it's a flicker of light inside of him that shows the true meaning of the word Love. You can’t put love into words. Not real love anyways. You can only feel it throughout every inch of your skin. The concern he has for you, the way he touches you, the way he makes you feel. The lust that never goes away. The pure and utter need for the other person. Thats what love is. But really for me, that love comes from looking in his eyes. To me, there is nothing more beautiful than when I look into his eyes and he looks back at me. Our eyes meet and it sends radiating pulses of energy throughout your whole body. Telling you that this is something, this is real. Love doesn’t mean you never fight or argue, it means that you never want that person to go away even when you are at your most mad with them. It means that you want nothing but the best for that person and you would give your soul to them.

I give a lot to him, knowing I'll get it in return. Knowing… trusting that he is the man I can see when I look at him. This is a man who has been hurt, knocked down, beat up and more, just to get back up and keep fighting. He’s built walls around himself that he tries so hard to keep up. What scares him the most is knowing that I can break them down… and that I will. He tries to keep them up, tries to hold me away while also letting me in. What he fails to realize is the more he lets me in the more I break down those walls… you can’t have someone be apart of you in ways you’ve never known without walls being torn down.

Thats what our love feels like, like we are apart of one anther, like our souls are intertwined and feed off each other for life.

Sometimes you come across people in your life, ones that will change how you live forever, whether its a good or a bad thing. Sometimes, you meet one person who will rock your whole world, they will shake the earth beneath your feet and make you question all you’ve ever known… he is this person. The one who shook my world.

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The One Who Shook My World
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