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If you don't understand what the power of the visual means and you're in a relationship then you've experienced the feelings associated with your man looking at another woman. While reading this, put yourself in the shoes of the average Joe. I commend every woman who reads this article with an open mind, because it takes tremendous courage for a woman to get past this stage in her relationship. For men who are reading this, understand that your woman wasn't born with the ability to understand your foreign behavior. The power of the visual is not any easy thing for a woman to grasp. I will share my understanding with you all in this article.
So you and your man go to the beach. You're in a bikini, 100 other females are in their bikinis. You're enjoying the sun alongside your man's company and a woman with a great body walks by. You see that your man is looking at this woman.
There are 2 ways to react to this situation.
- Accept it and let your man be a man.
- Turn a situation that doesn't matter into something that does.
*DISCLAIMER* (I will speak in third person in order to protect all egos.)
Men might be asking, why is my woman tripping? I'm right here by her side and it isn't like I'm pursuing this woman. The simple truth is your woman feels threatened by your looking. Her feeling threatened is a natural reaction to the situation. In a woman's mind, she may feel you find the woman You're looking at more attractive than her. She may also feel you are dissatisfied with her and develop the fear that you may leave her. She may also feel you are comparing her. She most definitely feels you are thinking about this other woman long after the fact. Let's analyze and acknowledge everything that may be going on in a woman's mind.
Ladies, in all honestly your man may find another woman more physically attractive than you—regardless if the woman is more, the same, or less physically attractive than you are. He will look just simply because they are a woman. What I need my ladies to understand is that ultimately IT DOES NOT MATTER!! Your man is with you. Therefore, he wants you. No other woman but you. View yourself as a piece of art. You are a "Mona Lisa" and other woman are new pieces of art. No intelligent man will exchange their Mona Lisa for a new piece of art. Yes the new art gets your man's attention in a matter of seconds, but just as fast as it caught his attention is just how fast it leaves his brain. I know you may find this very hard to believe but you only find it hard to believe because you for one remember the woman your man looked at and because of that you feel your man does too. Your man has no recollection of the woman he just looked at. You as a woman picked up way more about this other woman than he did. So it isn't fair to scold your man about something he is programmed by nature to do. Naturally, a man wants variety so him looking is keeping his visuals full range. When you are in a harmonizing relationship where there is mutual attraction, your man looking at another woman shouldn't faze you.
Ladies, cut your man some slack. Don't let his looking upset you. It isn't this dramatic when you are doing your looking. If you "catch" him looking, you've caught yourself being unfair. Why are you looking to see if he is going to look knowing he is going to look. It takes tremendous will power for your man to not look. Don't make your man feel uncomfortable about something that's natural to his being. A man may feel judged when in a situation like this because there's no way to justify his looking in a way his woman will understand.
Save yourself and follow the 3 R's.
Men reading this, I strongly recommend you follow the 3R's; be rational, be respectful, and be responsible.
Be Rational in your looking. Just because your woman understands your foreign behavior doesn't mean you should take advantage. Be rational in choosing when it's appropriate. For instance, if you're out with your testosterone pack, opposed to when you're out with your girl. Don't forget your woman's natural feelings don't just disappear. She will work to suppress this feeling just as you will work to use your will power. So it's important to use your rule of judgement.
Be Respectful in your looking. Treat your woman the way you would want to be treated. Approve your behavior by imagining your woman taking the same actions. Would you be okay with your woman doing her looking in the same manner you wish to do yours? Have respect for your woman.
Be Responsible in your looking. If your looking happens to leave you in a sticky situation, act responsibly. Take the initiative to openly share the situation with your woman. There's nothing a woman loves more than being on the same page with her man—well, perhaps food. You'll find your woman to be pleased to get you out of the situation. This moment will go down in the hall of fame and it'll be a memory you both can laugh about instead of fight about.
Establish boundaries with your partner and gain a mutual understanding. The funny thing about this whole notion is that in reality a woman does more looking than a man does. But let me just sip my tea.
To conclude there is no threat in the looking. Women, observe and only take action if a real threat should arise. Men, follow the 3R rule.
(By: Adriesca Julot) Find me on Twitter @Doctor_Change