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The Single Life

Reasons Women Should Not Seek a Mate Until They're Ready

All throughout my life I have felt the pressure of acquiring a boyfriend, usually in the hopes that one day he would become my husband. I had a few less than serious relationships in high school, but they never lasted longer than a few months. I used to think there was something wrong with me and that I would end up lonely and miserable my whole life.

I felt this way up until a couple of years ago, when I realized how much more easy going my life was when I wasn't sharing it with someone else. It sounds cliché, but I really was a lot happier and felt a lot more free when there was no significant other involved.

As it turns out, I am almost 25 years old, I have no husband or boyfriend. My parents were both hitched at the age of 22, and their parents tied the knot with their significant others as teenagers. By those standards, I should at least have a serious boyfriend at this juncture in my life, right?


Like I said, there is no suitor in my life trying to ask for my hand in marriage, or fighting for my affections. But, what I do have outweighs what I don't have. I do have a career, my own house (own not rent), a dog, two cats, and I live two states away from my hometown. I actually live in New Orleans, which is one of my favorite cities in the country.

I don't say any of this to brag on myself in any way, because I could be doing a lot better for myself. I could have the financial and emotional stability of a man in  my life, but I choose not to even pursue anyone. At least, not right now.

I was very unhappy as a teenager due to toxic guys I had in my life. It took me a long time to realize that single doesn't mean your life is depressing and meaningless. It just means I am not in a place in my life where I need male companionship. One day, maybe. But right now, no.

Just because you haven't found a guy doesn't mean that you never will. It also doesn't mean that you'll be miserable until you do. You can't look for self fulfillment in somebody else; make your life what you want it to be, then share it with somebody else.

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The Single Life
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