The Struggle of Friends

Are you real?

Do you often feel like no one knows the real you? Are you afraid that releasing what you truly believe and feel day to day will keep you from having long term even life long friends?

Where do we even begin, though? Say you are 30 and you have your big boy or big girl job. It is a nine to five, somewhere. Your life seems like a spiral of wake, eat, work, sleep, oh and repeat the next day. If it is this day in and out, where do we even make new friends. Sure, you have your work friends, but let's face it, they are from all different walks of life. Maybe you get lucky and make your best friend for life at work, others aren't so lucky.

In today's society, having different beliefs gets you scorned, even worse, it can get you harassed or even harmed. It was a different way when I was young. I actually pity the young people of today. You can not disagree with anyone without hurting someone else's feelings. When did we become so soft? Our grandparents and great grandparents were never this soft. What happened to us?

I'm not going to talk about the softness, though. I really want to look at where do we make our friends. If you are like me and you attend church regularly, there is a starting point. You can make friends there. Better yet, you may make a couple friends and end up meeting your bestie through one of them. That was easy, for some. But, what about the others, I mean, there's the bars, the shopping centers, the clubs and etc... How difficult.

Even when you find that friend that you think might be the one. It's like dating. Let's take it slow! I don't want to throw too much at them too quickly, what if they run away?! Oh, the friend dates! What if we don't agree! Yikes!

It happens, though. We find that friend. We've seen those random memes that say something like friendship is weird, because you pick a person and like that person so you want to do all the things with that person. So, you pick your friend, you friend date and it's right. You have how your person, YES!

Let's get back to the daily grind. Wake, work, sleep and repeat. Life is fast paced and super busy. How do you keep that friendship so strong when you barely have time to get everything done.

Well, it's a two way street. The both of you have to work at it. Don't lose hope if you think you have the one friend and they turn out to be a dud. Get back out there and friend date again.

Don't put yourself through abusive friendships, though. You deserve so much more. You are worth more than a narcissist friend. It is easy to fall prey to them when you want so badly to have someone besides your spouse of significant other to share things with. Guard your heart!

We have hundreds of dating apps. Dating apps for all walks of life. We have a farmers dating app, for crying out loud! Maybe someone needs to start pumping out friend dating apps!

Making friends is hard, but I'm sure some of y'all can attest to the fact that making mom friends is the hardest thing ever! Holy cow! Do you spank, do you not spank! Breastfeed or formula feed. Cloth or disposable... The different types of parenting are endless. Judging other moms is so easily done, even when you are trying you hardest not to!

However and wherever you are trying to find your circle of close friends, always remember one thing: Give yourself some grace. Life is hard enough as it is without you beating yourself up.