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I am still young but I think I am on the verge of getting this crazy relationship thing right. I once read an article, I couldn't remember where to find it now, but it kind of stuck with me and made me think. It was about the three great loves a person will have in their lifetime. I believe these loves were supposed to be significant ones that will teach you something about yourself. This is my take on the three loves I have had, and what they meant to me.
The first love was just that, it was my first love ever. I believe this love, for most people like myself, will happen in high school. Most couples do not make it out of this relationship still together. But for some reason, as a silly teenager, we would think that this was a relationship that should consume us. So, my first love I met when I was fifteen years old. It was new, it was messy, it was awkward, but I did not care. You could not tell me anything different, I was in love, and he was the only one I would be with forever. Our hormones were high and we were obsessed with each other. Everything with this relationship was new, and we experienced a lot of firsts together. I experienced my first heartbreak with this person, and more heartbreak after that. We dated for about a year before he first broke up with me via text message. I lost it at this point, my whole world was ruined, for about a weekend that is. We got back together quickly and were together again for about another year until I decided to break it off with him this time. I remember thinking about how he was starting to become distant, I made the notion hoping he would fight for me, but he didn't. I didn't date anyone else after we broke up, and we were apart for about another year. Then during senior year we got back together again. We graduated together and soon after moved in together. We moved to another state together, got an apartment, and attempted to be adults. It was soon after this move that I started noticing the difference. I had grown, but it seemed he was still as immature as in high school, something that did not matter when we were fifteen. Now we were twenty and I was realizing how different we had grown to be. I stayed against my better judgment and I became depressed, anxious, and resentful. Finally, I mustered up the courage and left him. This was probably one of the best decisions I made. However, I don't regret this relationship, it taught me a lot. It taught me how to love, because I really did not know what a relationship was supposed to be before this. It taught me that I should never settle. I think I became a stronger woman because of this relationship.
The second love was not a huge or consuming love. I was not in love, but had something that resembled love for this person. I met my second love when I was in the middle of the ruins of my first love. I was in the mist of leaving my first love, starting a new job, and really figuring out adulthood. I remember seeing him at work for the first time and thinking about how attractive he was. I never felt this attraction towards anyone else before. We eventually started talking and I quickly realized that he was into me too. Our first date consisted of talking in his car for hours on the beach. At the end of the night we kissed, and I remember getting a little carried away with that kiss. After that we spent almost every weekend together. It was a fun and chill relationship, but there was always something missing for me. At one point I asked him what we were, a define the relationship moment I guess, and he said we were dating each other and no one else. He never met my family and I never met his. We were exclusive but the relationship had no future. I knew that but chose to ignore this fact. He was much older than me, he had been married once, had two kids, and didn't want more. I told myself I didn't need marriage or kids, this relationship was fun and we had a bond. At the end of the relationship it started getting complicated. He would tell me he didn't want a relationship one day and the next call me his girlfriend and suggest we move in together. I was reckless during this relationship and ignored all of my own needs. We would get into small fights about nothing, and he would make me think that it was all my fault. Then I would worry about what I did wrong and constantly try to fix it. After we finally broke up I realized what the relationship really was. It was a booty call that lasted way too long. But it taught me a lot about myself and what I truly want out of a relationship. I learned I want someone who is loving, and certain about what he wants. I learned that I love real commitment and the idea of marriage and kids. I learned what selfishness looks like in both love and sex. This was a really important lesson to learn.
My third love is supposed to be my last love according to the article I had read, and I really hope it is. I may have a biased opinion on this one because I am still in this relationship but this is still important. After being single for a few months after my second love, I met my third love. He was so different from the type of men I am usually into, and at first I ignored his advances.We started talking and I realized how funny he was and how I missed him when he wasn't around. Finally, he got me to go out on a date with him, which I was still not enthused about. On our date he took me to get my favorite food, sushi, and we talked the entire time. He talked to me about some serious things happening in his life and the honesty was a breath of fresh air. After dinner we took a walk so we could talk some more. I realized fast how caring, compassionate, and loving he was. He knows what he wants and he makes it known. We met each other's families after about a month and he told me he loved me soon after that. Fast forward to the present, it has been about a year and a half , and this relationship is still going strong. This love has taught me so much about how a partnership should really work. He listens to my issues and tells me my ideas, opinions and reasons are valid, and I do the same for him. I am never left guessing about anything and we rarely fight. He is very mature and has his priorities straight. This is a relationship that I am absolutely sure about.
And those are my three loves...