The True Reality of Closure

Closure is defined as bringing things to an end or conclusion. That at times is easier said than done especially in this day and age. Most people crave closure in cases of relationships ending or failing, losing friends, or even the death of loved ones. Understandably obtaining closure is a lot easier acquired in the situation of a loved one passing simply for the fact that everyone wants and desires to make peace with those they have mistreated in their final moments. However, that doesn't always make it easy or simple to handle.

Closure truly is a fickle thing that everyone at some point tries to obtain in order to move forward in their life. I have tried to obtain closure quite a few times and I've had very few successful closures in my life. The majority of the time, trying to obtain closure has proven to be a waste of my time, and just more painful at the end of the day. Although it probably hasn't helped that I tend to keep my emotions to myself instead of expressing them at the time it's needed.

The whole idea and concept of closure is a wonderful thing, but in reality, it rarely works the way we think it's going to. A perfect example, for instance, I was nineteen and a sophomore in college. I thought I had found someone who truly cared for me. I was the perfect definition of young and naive to the extreme. As it turned out he cared more about himself and what would be better for him than anyone else. I had learned I was pregnant by him, but when I told him it was an immediate reaction of anger from him. Point blank he told me to abort the baby or quit talking to him, so I cut him out my life and tried my best on my own to take care of myself and my unborn child. I failed miserably, and by miserably I mean I went into premature labor that couldn't be stopped and had a stillborn baby boy.

Months later, I ran into the father and he acted as if nothing had ever changed between us. I wanted the closure of him knowing that the child had died and that he actually had cared about me. It never came sadly, but I half expected it not to. The whole situation was a very painful life lesson that at times closure truly doesn't exist, but it doesn't mean to give up hope that closure exists. It just means that there are some situations where closure is possible, and other situations where it truly is easier to just leave the pain behind and block it out to be happy in your future.

A positive experience of closure came when I confronted an old friend about what happened between us and why we were no longer friends. As it turned out the only reason we were no longer friends was that we had grown up and just didn't really fit into each other's lives anymore. We wished each other the best and moved on. So closure at times can have happy endings and healing.

Closure can be a scary thing because we don't know if it's going to be more painful in the end, or if in fact, we will find peace and healing. As scary as it may be if you truly feel the need to obtain closure, don't be afraid. Do what you need to in order to find and obtain peace for yourself so you can be the best you for whoever is in your life along with yourself.