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The True Story of the Fierce Independent

A Tragic Success

By Keane Neal-RiquierPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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There are those in this world who use the word independent to describe themselves. In society, in careers, and personal life, it is one of the most cherished character traits that so many aspire to have. It can be great, and that’s without a doubt, knowing that you can do anything on your own can bring a presence that others take notice of.

The other day, my adviser in the school of business was telling me that he had a sixth sense about college students. A sixth sense, in which he can tell when they are made for success both professionally and personally. He said I was one of those students, and so far, my success in my young life has held to his expectations. That’s beside the point.

What has been on my mind since then is what’s the difference maker that triggers the ‘sixth sense.’ As I sit on this train right now, I think I finally figured out what it is.

Warranted Independence

Photo by Reymark Franke on Unsplash

What I mean by warranted independence is that of such in which you have built, independence that isn’t built on an overly confident lack of knowledge.

Independence that has been built on consistent listening, understanding, and learning.

Independence that doesn’t shut everyone out.

Humble independence—it knows others are more competent, and so it searches for them. As soon as the lesson is learned, however, the other person can no longer climb the walls in which we have built. It can appreciate everything everyone has done, but sooner or later, once there is nothing left to learn, the high school teachers fade and give way to college professors.

Ever since I was a young kid, I watched my mother raise me without a father. Though, surrounded by family with support, it still takes an amazing strength to hold a job and do this simultaneously.

The way she raised me, she led me through the world, and she taught me how to parent myself for each new challenge and lesson that came along. One of the greatest things I learned from her is to assess everything for myself and find my way in the world—letting me fall when I needed to learn a lesson, but being able to make sure it never hurt so much that I couldn't brush it off and move forward.

At the age of about fourteen, my grandmother got sick—cirrhosis of the liver. In a family, in which my grandmother had six children, it was my mom who was the one that was to take care of her.

Raising a teenage boy and taking care of a mother of diminishing health could not have been easy. The cirrhosis did the damage, fast, and it wasn’t long before my grandmother’s capabilities dwindled. Once a woman who was a fierce independent, she saw her dependence growth with each passing day.

I never once remember my mom complaining. On the worst days, I never saw her cry. She kept me distanced from the harshest of truths, but made sure I always knew what they were. It was miraculous in a way.

Even when I was younger, I never really depended on my peers, as I had always independence written in my DNA. However, that—seeing your mother do all that and stay strong—was otherworldly. It changed me for the better after the years have passed.

Through the years, I’ve grown into an adult that never looks for help from others. Though, as I said before, here I am on a train.

The Choice

Photo by Derek Story on Unsplash

I had a choice today: drive or take the train and depend on a friend to pick me up on the other side. For many, this seems like a simple choice. For me, it has made me look at myself with glaring clarity. My default is to never depend on others, so driving was initially the obvious choice.

I realized something.

Being a fierce independent likely means, you are fiercely invulnerable as well. I knew every time I chose the independent route, there was something missing. Putting moments of your day, the weight of your emotions, or anything that is apart of you in the hands of someone else you are building something; you nourish whatever relationship you may have.

To that, I say this: with every strength comes a significant weakness.

For those who are looking up to your independent friend, take off those rose-colored glasses. The more we learn, the lonelier it gets. Learn about what makes us tick, and find the trick that gets us to give up a little, because it's in there.

For those who are independent; put your damn guard down once in a while. It does something magical if you truly let it. You won’t lose the independence you have worked so hard to build emotionally and physically; instead, you find serenity and happiness.

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About the Creator

Keane Neal-Riquier

Writing and storytelling have been a passion of mine ever since I was young. I look to dig deep into what it means to be human, and this is what you will find at the very core of my writing.

Website: atyourservicefreelancing.com

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