Having a relationship tends to be a wonderful thing to have whether it's romantic or platonic. Every type of relationship has ups and downs, little bumps in the road. Therefore, we need to face the fact that all relationships have issues. Some are big, some are small but, all issues big or small can eventually lead to the destruction of your relationship. We as humans tend to fixate on relationship issues and a lot of the time turn small issues into big ones.
Everyone knows there is no love potion or a magic genie that can fix a damaged relationship, and instead of just facing the fact that the relationship might just be over, we tend to drag things out childishly. Sometimes we just need to sit down and examine our options carefully which brings us to the question of "Can couples therapy really help save your relationship?"
When people ask the question "Does couples therapy actually work?" They are really asking if therapy can save their relationship or not. Unfortunately, this is not the right question to ask.
If you logically think about it, you're putting your relationship and trust into the hands of someone who yes, does, in fact, own a Ph.D. but, has no actual real relationship experience, or be able to fully understand the situation considering they haven't lived through you and your partner's experiences.
Therefore, the question you really need to ask yourself is "How can someone who has never been faced with relationship problems or even had real relationship experience help fix your relationship?"
The correct answer is they are actually unqualified to help you. Everyone knows the way we gain knowledge is through experience thus, the only person that can fix your relationship is you and your partner.
The definition of couples therapy is a type of psychotherapy. Couples therapy helps couples of all types recognize and resolve conflicts to improve their relationships. The specific treatment plan depends on the situation therefore, couple therapists sit and listen to you talk you tell them your relationship concerns and, they sit with you and your partner to give you supposed tools that if you actually sit and think about you could have gotten yourself.
Basically, you're just paying them to sit and listen to you rant but, if you need to rant that's what best friends are for, and did I mention it's free? Ranting is helpful sometimes but, it doesn't fix your relationship and, I know what you're thinking...
"This sounds like more of an opinion rather than a factual statement."
Actually, it is both opinion and fact. Let's look at the statistics, shall we? According to some research approximately over a quarter of couples who received couples therapy reported that their relationship was worse two years after attending therapy, and over 38% of couples who received therapy got divorced within four years of completing therapy.
So, if we're gonna be realistic here, you honestly pretty much have better odds of getting struck by lightning or winning the jackpot than therapy fixing your relationship.
One of my favorite sayings goes, "Relationships last longer if you keep people out of your business." In my opinion, that includes therapists. If you are having relationship issues I suggest sitting down with your partner google some tools yourself on how to communicate.
Communication is the biggest key to the success of your relationship. Work as a team because that's what you are when you are in a relationship. Be a team player and work with your partner on boundaries and better ways to communicate to one another and, if you really need to rant, don't waste your time and money on couples' therapy. Do what I do — call your BFF!
Dedication for this piece goes out to my best friends Heather, Angel & Shania for always being here to listen to me rant! Love you both! Also my awesome teenage daughter, Khloe Cleopatra! B.A.B.F.L