The Truth About Serious Relationships in College

My boyfriend and I had been dating almost a year when it was time for college. We were both willing to do the whole long distance thing, even though neither one of us truly wanted that. Luckily, we ended up choosing the same college to attend. We were both thrilled. Together, we were going to conquer college and nothing could stop us. We were pretty off.

Let’s call my boyfriend Luke, just to make everything easier. Luke had been accepted into a prestigious medical program at our university, that consisted of a majority of females. I hate to admit it, but I get jealous pretty easily. I blame it on my parents and the previous relationships I had. Anytime he would hang out with his group, I would get jealous and it caused a lot of fighting and tension between Luke and me. We actually fought about it the entire first year of college.

I was nervous. Nervous he was going to leave me for one of them. After all, they were significantly smarter than me. One of them was even better than me on the sports field which, let me tell you, really pissed me off. Not only was she smarter, but she was more athletically gifted. The total package. Luke never gave me any reason to be jealous though. He was so faithful and devoted to me. There was just so many newer, older, prettier, etc. girls on campus that we weren’t exposed to before.

I played intramural sports, and almost the entire team was made up of males. A lot of them not unattractive. Just like I was worried about Luke, there were so many new guys I was exposed to. When we were in high school, other guys didn’t catch my attention because Luke and I were still in the cupcake phase and I just found a lot of the guys unattractive. But college presented me with thousands of guys with different backgrounds, beliefs, looks, educations, and everything else you could imagine.

I would go out and play with the guys at least twice a week. One of the guys on the team, we’ll call him Tom, I couldn’t help but find cute. He had curly hair, which I was a sucker for. He was fit, unlike Luke who had gained at least 50 pounds since I met him. He dressed so nicely when we weren’t playing. I started dreaming about him. I found myself wanting to hang out with Tom as much as I could, away from sports as well. So that's what I did. I started meeting him and another guy for coffee every Monday and Wednesday morning. I felt so guilty. I would be laying in bed next to Luke and dreaming about Tom. I was a dirty hypocrite.

I told Luke about how I found him attractive and how (I’m a terribly shallow person for this) it was getting harder to find him attractive, since he kept gaining weight. He cried. I cried. We almost broke up. He told me how it’s natural to feel curious when you’re exposed to such a new, different life. It was true. It is natural. I wanted to explore other guys. I wanted to make-out with Tom. I wanted to see what it would be like to grind on other guys at a party. Stupid college stuff, but I wanted it. Luke didn’t feel the same way.

Luke was happy with me, he didn’t feel curious or feel attracted to anyone else. We discussed having a brief period where I explore myself and then go back to Luke if I didn’t like it, but he wasn’t okay with that. I don’t blame him, I probably wouldn’t be okay with it either. So I had a decision to make. He told me that my happiness was more important to him than anything else, so if that would make me happy, he would let me go. I thought about it. I thought a lot. I decided that Luke was worth not experiencing all of that other stuff. He was way too good to lose.

The whole point I’m trying to make here is that dating in college is hard. You’re busy, there’s A LOT of new, single, attractive people who will want to gain your attention. But you have to be willing to put in the work. Chances are, you’re going to pass that cupcake phase and things won’t be easy anymore. Just like with Luke and I. We have to work at our relationship to keep it healthy and strong and alive. We’re going to be starting our second year of college this year, and I know it won’t be easy. We’re just going to have to put the work in.