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Do you sometimes wonder if you could actually save yourself from constant heartache and pain?
Have you ever felt like you thought you were in an exclusive relationship but you just wasn't sure due to their nonchalant attitude?
It was just in time for the holidays and suddenly you met someone amazing. You hit it off instantly and decide to meet up.
In-person the chemistry appears to be through the roof. You can't stop giving each other long stares meanwhile you're mind is picturing them in your distant future.
A few months go by and things start to feel a little bit off but you can't put your finger on it. Did something change or happen that you weren't aware of?
Do you think that you're overreacting?
Well, if you're thinking this way it may be because there is some sort of confusion and you don't really know where you stand.
Maybe it feels like you're in an almost relationship or what they call nowadays, a "situation-ship." That won't make anyone feel secure or happy to stick around for the long haul either.
When you start to feel this way, it's a sure sign for you to start to decide if you want to continue to be a part of the childish games.
You will never ever have to second guess when something or someone is real.
Your significant other will make it known and obvious that you are a priority and go out of their way to make sure that you always feel comfortable.
Don't continuously waste your time that you will never get back on someone who isn't ready to commit fully. (Just so you know, them being around daily or in communication does not equate to genuine commitment. There's levels to it).
If you are looking for something more substantial, you need to invest your time wisely and protect your heart along the way.
The Real Reason Your Infatuation Is Keeping You Illiterate
There's one thing that you must do before you get serious...
In order to have a commitment you must establish a connection before you start throwing out labels!
Titles can have a reverse effect and make others feel entitled. Know the difference.
However, if the guy or girl you like isn't in the same space, you're just wasting your precious time by accepting their invitation to play with your emotions.
Don't set yourself up for failure.
We must learn to stop making excuses for the person we're dating if and when we see the signs.
If they're not that into you, than it's okay. Let it be.
However, even though they take you on a tumultuous roller coaster ride somehow you've told yourself that you can't see yourself without them and those thoughts allow you to believe the lies you've told yourself.
The true reason why you can't let them go is that you haven't figured out what your actual deal breaker is and probably never even thought of it.
Until you get comfortable with setting boundaries you will continue to keep meeting and falling for these same types until you apply the lesson you learned.
So many times we blame them for using us and hurting us never taking into consideration the role that we actually played.
By not standing up for ourself we inadvertently accepted their lack of appreciation towards us.
By valuing them more than we value ourselves, we put them ahead of us because of our belief of loving unconditionally.
Which in the long run plays a huge part in tearing us down mentally and leaves us emotionally scarred only to view love as being so evil that we begin to want no parts of it and this results in choosing to remain single.
This is all good, but it will not change until you know what respect is and walk away if it isn't received.
The Shocking Truth That Co-Dependency Stems From Emotional Abuse
What are time wasters?
A time wasters is someone who has no intention or interest in being in a committed relationship, not just with you, with anyone for that matter. It's just not on their radar. They see others as a mere convenience.
If you were positive that they were serious you wouldn't be reading this because you would know that this is definitely not your partner or potential other half.
You want someone who has time invested in you and not just words of falsehoods only intended to capture you with no intentions of holding onto you in the long haul.
Four Red Flag Signs
- If they are only available at night and unavailable for you in the day with no valid reason then that should be a problem.
- If it's been a year and you still have not met their child whom they share a home with because they have you hiding like a teenager, chances are they may be hiding something like perhaps a whole other relationship or marriage.
- They string you along because they are having fun with what you bring to them until they figure out their situation or if they want to take you serious.
- If they only always talk about hooking up or jump your bones the second that they see you. If you allow this to go on the whole time, then sex is the only thing keeping you on their mind, and nothing more. Nobody likes to feel used so this is a definite red flag.
Louise Hay: Serets to a Balanced Mind, Body and Spirit
Signs They Are Not Vested in You
We want to love our mate as much as we can 110 percent of the time and as best as we can thinking that will help them stay or put a ring on it.
However, many couples end up having children within an 11-year relationship and he hasn't even attempted to pop the question to get engaged.
Oftentimes people stay in that relationship perplexed, angry, or confused, saying, "I do everything for him, he's ungrateful and doesn't know a good thing if it smacked him in the face."
But by doing everything and demanding nothing, he feels entitled and like he doesn't have to do a thing, and may never follow through with it until he feels like he's being nagged by a never ending voice that he wants to get rid of.
This is a surefire way to invite more problems into the already failing relationship.
There will almost always be a clear indication of apparent signs and red flags, cheating, and other things that will wreak havoc on your union.
If you guys are married you may have come to understand that he only joined your hand in marriage because in his mind he feels like he was basically forced down the aisle so he doesn't really take the vows seriously.
Therefore, what often happens is that they pretty much have their significant other as basically a live-in lover. If that isn't disrespectful enough then it's time for you question your morals and values and see who or what situation caused a drift or drop in your self worth.
Remember what you allow is what will continue. You have to find it within you to muster up some strength and stop accepting anything less than your worth. Now at this point, if you don't know your worth I suggest you start to work on yourself and not losing yourself in someone else's shadow.
Everyone you encounter is a mirror reflection.
When you feel extremely low inside it is often reflected back to us by the situations we're put in and the people we associate with.
This lowered energy vibrates in our being and transfers or spills over into our mind, thoughts, or actions and affects the way we operate. Allowing us to choose the same lower vibrating energies as our significant other which is why we attract narcissists/sociopaths over and over again.
It isn't until you correct yourself and what transpires within to raise your vibrational energy that you will meet someone who mirrors what you are!
This is a very hard lesson for many because they won't admit it to themselves and rather live with the lie. It takes alot to own up and admit your mistakes and that shows character, growth and maturity when the nieve self that follows ego is no longer controlling you.
Get out of your way.
Oftentimes when we experience narcissistic parents or caregiver, spouses and friends it programs into the mind extreme feelings of doubt, fear and low self value.
Realizing that as far as relationship are concerned, they are there to teach you something about yourself. What is that you ask?
Maybe you need to learn how to:
- Trust the signs you get early on
- To put yourself first
- Stop saying YES so easily, try saying No sometimes
- Follow your gut not your heart
- Not surrender for the sake of love
- Stop wearing your heart on your sleeve when they don't
- Give love when it's reciprocated
- Stand up for yourself and stop making excuses for the abusers
- Don't take it lightly when someone mistreats you
- Learn to create boundaries
The narcissists will keep coming back into our reality in various shapes and forms until we learn what we need to learn from them.
In order to stop these people from showing up in your life repeatedly to finally break free from the toxic relationship cycle.
You can get out, and you can have happy, healthy relationships. The rest of your life starts now.