Humans logo

The Unexpected Positive Aspects of Being in a Relationship

The perpetually single girl is no longer single.

By joviePublished 6 years ago 4 min read
Like
Photo by Krista Mangulsone on Unsplash

I’ve always been the single type. Blame it on the parents’ bad marriage, the hookup culture, or the social awkwardness so entrenched into my personality. Take into account running with the wrong crowd for a brief period and discovering handsome strangers around every corridor in college. You have a 19-year-old girl who neither needed nor wanted to get wrapped up in emotions.

Then along comes 20, and 21, and the workforce, and adulting, and a very different scene.

Suddenly, everyone I knew was “settling down” and “dating,” rather than “messing around” and “fucking.” For a solid six months, I tried to fit in. I tried looking presentable on first dates and leaning in/mirroring his movements/making prolonged eye contact. For lack of a flattering adjective (that isn’t a lie), I tried.

One after another, relationships fell through. All I could think about was how stress-free the single life was, so I returned to it.

You find love when you least expect it.

I’d heard this at least a hundred times. No one told me love would claw into my psyche when I was actively avoiding it. Now, this young man’s been taking me on dates and holding my hand for nearly six months, and I think I’m losing my mind.

It’s not all bad, though.

There’s no need (nor pressure) to flirt.

Photo by Laula The Toller on Unsplash

Two single people, mutually attracted to each other, in a casual environment, are required to flirt, right? Wrong, but it can feel that way—especially when you’ve been locking eyes at least once every minute.

I’m unsure why society hasn’t addressed how disruptive flirting can be. Your train of thought derails, focus shattered, as you struggle to decipher his every move. (He just bit his lips. That means he’s thinking about kissing me, right???) The tasks at hand are forgotten and common sense is comatose. Maybe it’s so far gone that you decide to initiate the conversation. Only god can help you then—and I’m atheist.

That pressure dissipates once you enter a monogamous relationship. Even if that young gentleman at the coffee shop glances at you once too often, you don’t have to care. There’s no point. You’re taken.

You can go to expensive restaurants without being labeled ‘fiscally irresponsible.’

Photo by Janayara Machado on Unsplash

Granted, it is fiscally irresponsible. The point is, people don’t view it that way.

It’s the strangest preconception I’ve ever witnessed. A 20-something woman in a (relatively) stable relationship is more put-together than a 20-something who’s been single for two years—regardless of the fact that they both still live with their parents.

Treat your little siblings to Applebee’s and you’re “wasting money.” Go on a date at a fancy Italian restaurant whose name you can’t pronounce and you’re “growing your relationship.”

Get your lover chicken soup from Panera because he’s sick because you’re “sweet.” Buy your pet snake the feeder mice that are necessary to his survival because you’re “gross.”

You can imagine the difference in getting drinks at a bar.

I’m sure we can have a fun (terrible) time discussing (trying to sound smarter than each other) society's more favorable views of women in relationships and its inherent sexism. Too bad I’m not interested in changing the world today. All I know is my mom’s scrawny bitch of a friend isn’t going to harass me for eating chocolate—because my boyfriend sent them in a heart-shaped box.

More puppies enter your life.

Photo by Vitor Fontes on Unsplash

Never before has a grown man so religiously sent me Snapchat videos of two adorable little dogs. Whether they’re playing, eating, or sleeping, I can expect a snippet of their day at any given moment.

This should require no further elaboration.

Good morning texts are nice.

Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash

I’d heard of these. I’m not sure how I’d miss them considering they’re all over my timeline, posted by some random girl I haven’t spoken to in five years who’s just gone through a breakup and “is now ready for a real man.”

I always thought I’d find the incessant text messages annoying. (Every morning is a new opportunity to flex your creative muscles and “good morning” is what you come up with every time? Do better.)

As it turns out, I was annoyed with the truckloads of sad memes every February 13. The text messages themselves aren’t so bad—especially coming from a likable person.

Sometimes he dumps heart-eyes emojis into our conversations for no reason. Other times, he sends me Snapchat selfies of himself in bed at 5 AM, looking like dogshit, complaining about his boss, who scheduled him for the 6 AM shift. Being in a relationship basically equals being contractually obligated to like your significant other’s face; therefore, I like these dogshit, badly lit selfies.

(Mini positive aspect of a relationship: You get to take and send countless super sexy selfies.)

Photo by jean wimmerlin on Unsplash

No one ever lied to me and said long-term relationships are easy. (Does a little over five months count as long-term? No? It does for me.) It turned out to be even more confusing than I thought, but not quite the prison I always envisioned. The good, so far, seems to be outweighing the bad.

dating
Like

About the Creator

jovie

I once listened to "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails for nearly 12 hours straight in an attempt to hurry along my inevitable descent into madness.

I failed.

#StillSane

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.