The Worst Date I've Ever Had... And the Events That Followed

I'd just turned 21 and a boy had never liked me before. I'd never known what it was like for someone to be interested in dating me. I desperately wanted to be pursued, but it just wasn't happening. I continued to struggle to attract guys; maybe I'm just clueless when it comes to love. As clueless as I was, and continue to be, for about two weeks in April 2017, a boy liked me.

Life was a little hectic. My job was stressful, I had a full course load, and I had to take a second job at McDonalds in order to pay for school. I had little to no spare time. There was no chance of me even meeting a boy. All I did was work, study, and work.

I believe it was a Sunday night when my phone lit up with a text from an unknown number. "Hey," the text read.

"Hi, who is this?" I responded.

"Its Jim from McDonalds I got ur number from some girl when I was looking to change shifts"

"Oh, you want me to cover a shift?"

"No"

I didn't respond after that. I had worked with this guy one time. He was rather awkward, didn't have great people skills, but he was nice enough. This was a little weird, though. There was no reason for him to be texting me, unless he wanted to trade shifts. He texted again, "Wyd"

I had no idea what that was supposed to mean. So I texted back "What?"

"What you doing" he replied.

"Homework." I answered.

"How old r u"

"21," I texted back, growing annoyed by his poor grammar.

"If ur 21 y do u have homework"

His lack of of punctuation was infuriating.

"I'm in college."

"We should hang out"

This statement lead to a conversation in which I explained how busy I was. He insisted that he was just as busy; he not only worked at McDonalds, but Wendy's as well. He began asking me what I do for fun and when I told him that I don't really have fun he sent a text saying, "i will take you on a good date"

Something about the word date had hypnotized me. A male was interested in dating me. This caused me to overlook the bad grammar, and many other things that were to come.

I agreed to meet him for coffee on a Saturday afternoon. I was at the library that morning studying and I received a text from him.

"wud u date a guy that dusnt drive"

"Sure, I don't drive either," I wrote back.

"K shit am early" For some reason, I felt a twinge of excitement in my stomach. I gathered my books and exited the library. I had a few blocks to walk to the coffee shop. I could see him already. He was just standing there, staring at me as I walked towards him. This should have been the first red flag.

Once I was standing feet from him, the first thing he said to me was, "Check out my bike," as he gestured to a very ordinary bike, tied to the bike rack.

"Oh, cool," I answered. "Let's go inside." I led him in. We approached the counter. We ordered coffee, stood in silence, and then I requested that he follow me upstairs. We took a seat by the window, looking out at main street.

"You look prettier when you aren't wearing your McDonald's uniform," was the first thing he said to me as we sat down. I ignored what an awkward compliment that was and thanked him.

The next hour consisted of mostly forgettable conversation with a few outrageous stories mixed in. He mentioned that he had been kicked out of several foster homes due to violence, but it totally wasn't his fault. I learned that he didn't graduate high school because the school was too far from his house. He was even gracious enough to share with me that he had pending charges of statutory rape from when he dated a twelve-year-old a few years back; he made sure not to leave out that she said she was 16 and she was his foster sister...

I think I had gone temporarily insane, because none of these things set off alarm bells. I guess that's what happens the first time a boy likes you. Most girls have this experience in middle school before the dudes get all creepy. So I was blind to the creepiness and agreed to go on a walk.

As we walked down the sidewalk, he frequently spat on it. I ignored this gross habit because he liked me. He didn't make eye contact with me while talking, and was overly enthusiastic about conversations concerning 'crazy bitches at work.'

Maybe I was pretending he was somebody else. Perhaps I was imagining charming conversation, some hand holding, opening doors for me. The only thing I remember thinking is, "this boy likes me."

As we approached the park I mentioned how fond I was of the wishing well. "Then lets go check it out!" he insisted. So he walked, three paces ahead of me, through the park. We crossed the bridge to the wishing well and he said, "turn around." I wasn't sure why he told me to do this. I probably thought he had something romantic in mind.

"Why?" I asked him, as I faced the other direction.

"I need to take a piss," he answered, as he relieved himself into the creek. At this point, any girl in her right mind would have peaced out. Did I leave? Did I tell him that was gross? Did I remind him that there were public washrooms merely steps away? No. I did none of those things. I continued to walk around town with this young man.

The only excuse I have for myself is that the thrill of a boy liking me had impaired my common sense. I don't know what Jim thought of his behaviour. Looking back now, I can see that this was unacceptable. I wish I had been able to see that at the time.

Our last stop was at the toy store. We walked around and looked at games and gadgets. He tried on the hats made for children. He held up a princess costume and made a suggestive comment about me wearing that with him in private. He picked up a toy snake and exclaimed, "I didn't know they sold dildos here!" How was I not embarrassed by this? How did I not slap him? Why didn't I run away and block his number?

Outside the toy store he gave me a hug and said goodbye. I walked away, back to the library. Luckily, I never saw him again. However, this is not the end of the story.

I was back at the library for about five minutes when the texts began flooding in. "ur beautiful", "i had such a good day with u", "i want 2 go out with u again". I was receiving texts like these all night. Now that he wasn't in front of me, and I had time to think, I played the day back in my mind.

Everything that should have stood out to me as a red flag was now revealing itself. Had I really spent all afternoon with this guy? It was as though, all of a sudden, I came to my senses and realized what a bad date this had been... But he wouldn't stop texting.

I had never rejected someone before, I didn't know what to do. So I decided to give him short replies, hoping he'd take the hint. The next few days, he sent me several lengthy, lovey dovey messages, riddled with grammatical errors. To each text I replied "okay." or "thanks." I was trying to seem as cold as possible.

My strategy did not work. I had wanted a boy to like me for so long, and now that one finally did, I just wanted him to stop. How do you get a boy to stop liking you? I was at my wit's end... or so I thought, until I received a text saying, "ur boyfriend is so tired".

Instantly, I was filled with fury. "Since when are you my boyfriend?" I typed back.

"i just thought things were going this way"

"They aren't." I wrote in rage, "This would not work out. I don't want to be with you. Goodbye."

"k it was nice dating u bye baby" was his reply. That reply only fuelled my anger, but I chose not to engage... until about an hour later when he proceeded to send me more messages:

"i wish u wud give us a stronger chance"

"i rlly felt a spark here"

"this was gonna b something special"

"i luv u"

"pls cuddle me"

"i lust u"

Messages like these came my way for a few days. They were met with replies such as:

"I don't want you."

"No."

"Leave me alone."

"Don't you know what 'no' means?"

Eventually, I just blocked his number. I still received the occasional text from a suspicious number, and it winds up being Jim. Each time I hear from him, I threaten him with a peace order. Creepers gonna creep, what else can you do about it?

So that is the story of the first time a boy liked me. I am now a firm believer that it is better to wait for someone you really like than to settle for the first guy to come along. I have not been on a date since, because I've decided to hold out for someone who I'd want to be with. Being pursued is not the most important thing in life. As females, we are taught to strive for male attention, but that's wrong. We don't need men to make us feel beautiful, powerful, and unique. We can find affirmation from within. Just because a man is giving us attention, does not mean we owe him our affections, because sometimes he's just creepy.