They Don't Have Your Heart

It has taken me a long time to realize that the love that you give in this world, will not always be the love that you receive. I have constantly learned that lesson throughout my twenty-six years of life on this earth. I have learned it from my parents, my siblings, my friends, and especially from relationships. I have also learned that lesson from the companies that I have worked for. It wasn’t until I graduated from high school and my closest friend sent me a text that said “I don’t need you anymore.” Talk about crushing someone’s heart. I knew that we would be going in separate directions but I had no idea that we would no longer need each other. Or should I say that she wouldn’t need me. As I went off to college, I realized that I didn’t really have as many real friends as I thought, although I got along with and talked to everybody. So I turned to dating, which is something that I had not done much of. This comes from being sheltered. I never got out much. I always spent my time at home or with my parents. If I went out with my friends, it was maybe once a month. When I started to date, I realized just how much men could lie and how every single one of them were sex-crazed. The very few men that I have given my heart to have yet to hold onto it. When I found a relationship that I actually thought was worth it, I realized that I was the giver. Which isn't surprising because I was the giver in all of my friendships and you see how that worked out for me. I would always give more to people than I got back. My time, attention, love, thoughts, effort, and on very very few occasions, money.

As I got older and went through more of the same experiences, I realized that I didn’t want to be one of those stupid girls. But I was. I was attracted to the same no good guys who only wanted one thing. They just had their slick ways of getting it. Not that all of them did. They weren’t that slick now. No one takes more advantage of your heart than a man. Most men aren’t taught how to love or treat a woman. So ladies, when you run in to that kind of man, you have two choices: Walk away or you can make the stupid mistake of trying to change him. It rarely works. You just end up eventually making him better for another woman. My experiences with men have always left me asking myself the same question, “Why do they treat me this way when I wouldn’t treat them that way?” When you ask yourself that question, that is the moment when you realize that they don’t have your heart. But that is okay. Once you come to that realization, that is the moment where you will have to make a decision. Do I continue to let people treat me this way? The answer should always be NO. How people treat you has nothing to do with you but everything to do with them. Some people just don’t know how to treat others. They never learned right from wrong and they never learned to care about someone other than themselves. Never give yourself or your love to someone who doesn’t deserve it. You will be able to recognize it because there are always warning signs. The signs for me are the lack of communication and when they all of a sudden start to get “busy”, also known as losing interest. Lyfe Jennings made a song called "Busy" and there is a verse in the song that says “We all have things to do but we make time for what we want.” When I heard that song, I learned how to tell when someone doesn’t want me as much as I want them and yes, that hurts. Every time I didn’t hear from him or the phone just rang or I never got a text back, it felt like a piece of me died. That feeling has to be the most depressing feeling ever. But in that moment, I also started to realize my worth. If they didn’t want to be with me, they could go and I would go find love somewhere else because I deserved better.

But I am here to tell you that no matter what you do in life, it is alright to give your all. Give 110 percent if you feel that it will give you everything that you want. However, always protect your heart, mind, body, and your soul because this world will run you into the ground with no hesitation. This world is heartless and good people with genuine hearts are becoming harder and harder to find. But just because that is the way the world is, that isn’t the way that you have to be. Keep your heart good but always remember that they don’t have your heart.