Ladies and gentlemen, it seems like we have a failure to communicate. We might speak the same language, but we definitely don't hear the same things when guys talk and when girls talk. Much of this reason is that guys don't think the same way that girls think, and girls don't think the same way guys think, either.
A lot of guys are totally mystified by women and have no idea what to make of them. Part of this is because guys just don't understand women and the way women think. If you're wondering why she's acting the way she is, these tips can help clear the fog.
Women tend to be more concerned about safety when going out on a date.
No, it's not that she's playing hard to get. Most girls actually screen people pretty heavily before they meet up, primarily because it's a matter of safety. You know you're safe to be around, but girls can't really tell that right off the bat.
Many girls are not as strong as the guys they date. Because so many cases have happened in which girls have been hurt by potential boyfriends, most girls tend to be somewhat wary about dating someone unless they know them pretty well.
Yes, you can blame douchebag guys for this. It sucks, but it's true.
Girls want someone they feel is a catch, too — but what a catch is tends to be different.
For most guys, a girl who's a "catch" is one who is pretty and isn't too unbearable to be around. That's literally it.
Most men are out there, tripping over themselves, in order to get a date or get laid. Most men out there also have no idea how to get a reaction to a girl, either.
Being on an online dating site, as a girl, is basically like signing up for a daily dick pic to get sent to your inbox. Honestly, the desperation and thirst girls see can make most of us lose our interest.
So, a catch tends to be the guy who is interested but isn't the one putting sex on a pedestal. That kind of attitude oozes confidence and makes us curious about what he has that other guys don't.
We are serious when we say looks don't matter — but it's more along the lines of "looks don't matter that much."
Men definitely are visual creatures, and to a point, many of them assume women are the same way. I'd be lying if I said that women don't pay attention to looks as well. We ladies do appreciate a toned, attractive-looking guy.
However, most girls will choose an average-looking guy with a good personality over the chiseled Greek god with a sour attitude. Above all, we just want to see that the guy we're with cleans himself up and looks like he takes care of himself.
Women are looking for a guy who offers security.
We want to see a guy who has something to offer us, especially in terms of security. That's why so many girls won't date a guy who doesn't have a job.
A job means that he has a good routine, the ability to hold himself up without a sugar mama, and is also emotionally stable enough to have a work-life near others.
Simply put, the fact that he goes out and works shows that he has stuff to offer. We also don't want to have a mentally unstable date, either. A job and a mellow attitude show stability — and stability is very hot.
Believe it or not, girls can want "just sex."
A lot of guys seem to think that girls don't want sex, or shouldn't want sex. This is just not true. Women love sex as much as men do — and sometimes, even more than guys do.
If a girl is saying that they want to have a one night stand, it's not to trap you or to wheedle a relationship with you. She's literally saying that she doesn't want anything serious, so roll with it.
Guys also don't seem to understand the difference between stability and being a bland human being.
A lot of guys seem to think that a career means you're entitled to a girlfriend or something like that. Their moms said that women like men who have good jobs, and the truth is that having a job can make you attractive...as long as you actually have a good personality.
Girls don't want a guy who is boring — and a lot of guys don't get that aspect of dating. We want someone who we can go on crazy adventures with and have a fun time with. That's why there is such a trope about girls liking "the bad boy" and the "life of a party."
Guys like that are adventurous and exciting. If you want to be attractive to women, show them that you can be unpredictable (in a good way).
On a random note, let's also talk about the whole "girls going to the bathroom in group" thing.
I know guys have been wondering about this, but this time-tested tradition is a classic for a reason. When girls go to the bathroom together, they are taking a social break — as well as a pee break.
The bathroom isn't just for peeing, especially if you're on a double date or out dancing. That room is where we give one another pep talks, help each other out with makeup, and just take a breather.
Also, there's another unwritten rule about girldom guys might not understand. When you're wasted in a club, going to the bathroom means you'll get a pep talk from other random girls who also are lit. It's just the way things are; for that split second, random bathroom girls are your best friends.
Lastly, depending on where you go and who you go with, it also could be a safety thing. There's safety in numbers.
When we say we're "fine" when it's clear we're upset, it's our way of saying we don't want to talk to you about it — or that you should already know why we're upset.
Girls are socialized to react in a nonaggressive manner, and for a lot of girls, this means passive-aggression. If we're clearly "not fine" and we shut down any talk about it, offering us a romantic dinner or chocolates will usually help.
Of course, if that doesn't work and the lady you're dating is not willing to talk it out, you may want to re-evaluate your relationship with her. Believe it or not, there are girls out there who can communicate in a healthy manner.
Girl drama is our way of coping.
Guys don't get girl drama — and that's okay. The gossip we exchange, the talks, all of that is actually a way a lot of women blow off steam. Guys tend to bottle up their feelings until they explode. Girls tend to hash them out with female friends, or with a nice bath.
Either way, it's important to understand that a lot of girls rely on friends to get through the day. Guys might not fully understand the drama and meaner side of things, but the truth is that it's hard to explain without actually being a part of it.
Guys, just accept it as a part of her life.
Lastly, don't ask why we wear makeup.
Some girls wear makeup as a form of self-expression. Others do it because they notice people treat them better when they wear it. Even more do so because of work requirements, or because it gives them confidence. Whatever the reason is, there's no reason to ask why it's a thing.
It's best to just assume makeup is good, okay? Awesome, we can agree on it.