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This Is Why People Don't Like Love

the difference between "love" and "romance"

By Raquel Z. DuartePublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Love and romance.

They both have to do with relationships, but only one can make it flourish past friendship.

They can both easily be faked, but only one can withstand the test of time.

They are both beautiful things, but only one is eternal and imperishable.

Romance is what makes you want to watch cute movies in which attractive characters fall in love with each other and you think, “I wish this was my life.”

Romance is what makes your heart flutter when he sends those cute goodnight texts.

Romance is what makes you smile when she calls you by your favorite pet name.

But this whole love deal. How can you recognize it? How can you feel the love?

Love is the beautiful, tormenting, heart-attacking knowledge that wells up inside of you at just the sound of their voice.

Love is the reason behind all the late-night phone calls where you fall asleep to the sound of the other's breathing.

Love is having the full confidence that no matter how much your hair color fades, no matter how many pounds you gain, no matter if your eyes grow dim, you know you will still be their forever person.

Love is what keeps the romance alive.

Love is not an emotion. Love is a knowledge. A pledge. A vow. A power. It's what stands when everything around you both has fallen.

Love is a choice and action, not a feeling and emotion. Love is a decision. And this isn't exactly an all-time favorite. It’s not an opportunity that people volunteer for because, to be honest, love is not convenient. It isn't easy. It's complicated, it's difficult, it sometimes happens at the most unexpected times.

And this is why people don’t like love.

They like the flirty feeling of “falling in love” but they don’t love love. Because love is sacrificial. Love is ferocious. Love is not emotive. And that takes a lot of selfless, exhausting and undoing. It has a cost. Love is patient and kind. It doesn't get jealous or hold grudges. It doesn't brag. It is full of respect and honor. And it doesn't keep a tally of how much it has given of itself.

Love is the hardcore, nitty-gritty baseline in which you have to remind yourself of why you chose that one person. Even in the moments when you don’t necessarily like them.

"In any relationship, there will be frightening spells in which your feelings of love dry up. And when that happens, you must remember that the essence of marriage is that it is a covenant, a commitment, a promise of future love. So what do you do? You do the acts of love, despite your lack of feeling. You may not feel tender, sympathetic, and eager to please, but in your actions, you must BE tender, understanding, forgiving and helpful. And, if you do that, as time goes on you will not only get through the dry spells, but they will become less frequent and deep, and you will become more constant in your feelings. This is what can happen if you decide to love."- Timothy Keller

Loving an imperfect person is really, really hard. But guess what? You are not perfect either.

Remember: Loving someone is not about you. It never will be. The purpose is not about your own happiness and pleasure and self-gratification. That is not true love. Love is not about what the other person can give you and do for you, but what you can pour into them.

Love is the most selfless act in the universe. The purpose of love is the very essence of it, the act, the art, the life lesson of learning how to love another human being. And that will probably be one—if not the most—difficult experience you will ever have to face. But it will be worth it. It will be so worth it.

Love is choosing someone over everything else, including yourself, your ego, your pride, your desires, unfailingly, every day. Forever.

It is not in our nature to love selflessly, but it isn't against our nature either. It is above us. It is the greatest good.

"The healthiest thing you can say to someone you love is, "I would be okay without you, but yet I choose to stay'."
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About the Creator

Raquel Z. Duarte

made in Rose City | creative | adventurer | authoress of "Pluviophile" & "Are My Eyes Still Tame?"

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