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This'll Make Your Heart Ache

Yeah, it hurts.

By Brittany FromlathPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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Never

I winced as I felt my stomach continually knotting up. Beads of sweat began to roll down the sides of my face as my heart started accelerating. My eyes welled with tears and it felt like a boulder was placed in my throat. My every nerve was on fire. I sunk down and pulled my knees to my chest behind the big staircase leading to the second floor of the 400 building and watched you walk by with her. The gut wrenching pain of watching you with her was unbearable. You smiled at her with your handsome smile and your heart shining through your eyes. You held her hand like your life depended on it. You tucked her hair behind her ear like she was made of the most precious substance in the universe. You kept her behind you to make sure nothing could ever hurt the most precious thing in your life. She smiled back with her million watt smile that made everyone stop and stare. She held your hand with ease because it fit like a glove. She giggled as you tucked her hair behind her ear and she sounded like an angel. She happily walked along behind you knowing you’d do absolutely anything for her. It killed me. It completely slaughtered my soul. Knowing that I could never make you as happy as she does. Knowing that I once had you and, somehow, I lost you. Knowing I will never have with you what you have with her. Knowing you will never look at me the way you now look at her. Knowing you never cared about me the way you care about her, and you never will. Knowing that no matter how many times you assured me that you would be there, you lied. Every promise you made. Every small action that expressed your affection. Every time you hugged me. Every time you kissed me. Every time you looked into my eyes and said you’d never felt this way about anyone before. Every time you said you loved me…every time said you loved me. It was all a lie. I should be used to it by now. Everybody lies. Nobody truly cares. Even when they say they do, they really don’t. Normally, I don’t let these things affect me like this. I had learned to shut my emotions off, keep people out. I had perfected my numbing process. But you broke down my walls, and I let you. I stopped rebuilding them. I trusted you. And you shattered me. I gave you all of me. I gave you the one thing I held close to me, the one thing I swore I would never give anyone, the one thing that truly gave me value. I gave you all of my heart. I gave you all of my happiness. For a while, it worked. I guess it wasn’t enough. I’m never enough.

Nowadays, I don’t believe in love. I used to be a romantic. I used to love the idea of getting a surprise bouquet of flowers, random trips to nowhere, because it was spending time together that mattered, not what the destination was. Sweet little kisses on the cheek or the forehead. A hand hold, even when our hands get clammy. Taking care of each other when in sickness. A cute prom-posal. A cute proposal. All that cheesy shit. And then I met you. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. And you’ve shattered every dream I’ve ever had. I see people in love and I immediately think, Wow, they’re going to fall out of love and it’s going to suck. They’ll stop feeling the spark and it will probably break at least one of them. What idiots. They could avoid so much pain if they just didn’t feel. I wanted to get married. I wanted to have kids. I wanted to be happy and in love and grow old with a man who loved me even when I’m grey and wrinkly. But I no longer see that happening. I see no kids. I see no white picket fence, I see no man, no children. I see nothing but loneliness for the rest of my life. I am going to die alone, thanks to you. I’ve eternally joined the broken hearts club. I kinda hate it, but it’s easier than love.

breakups
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About the Creator

Brittany Fromlath

Come join the broken hearts club.

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