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There’s a problem that some of us have to go through in our lifetime, and that’s the fact of having to live with this simply complex contradiction: simultaneously loving freedom, and loving love.
Going through life, we are to expect a lot from life, and love is no different in this aspect. We should get married, have children, and live in that house with a white picket fence. This is what success looks like; this is happiness.
Some of us are absolute supporters of this idea, and dream of nothing more than to fall in love and have that perfect family. Some are the complete rebels who will stay single until their dying day, living a life of absolute freedom from compromise.
Then there is us; the ones who are stuck in the middle, loving freedom, and loving love.
This is for those who are confused by our indecisive, yet decisive nature; the ones who want to know what we want.
Your love has to be our freedom, and that means so much more than it sounds like.
We Are in an Endless Sprint
Though we are stuck in the middle between these two decisions, don’t let it get confused with mediocrity. Mediocrity is the absolute opposite of what we are; in fact, it is the complete and utter rejection of mediocrity.
We love our freedom. Some come from long years of a consistent relationship in which everything just made sense and should have added up, but it didn’t. Some are just born with this rejection. How we got here doesn't matter, it's the fact that that's where we are now.
We reached the point of freedom that can be found in the beautiful land of singledom. It is fantastic, and it’s a shame that not everyone can enjoy this feeling.
The reason that not everyone can cultivate this love for being single is that it takes hard work. Often beginning at a slow crawl, you have to curate a pure love for yourself. To truly love yourself you have to accept a state of constant growth and learning. It begins slowly between the burdening weight of insecurity, and the static friction of moving forward. By the time we start pushing ourselves though, the weight shreds, and the resistance subsides, and we are running. Nay, we are at a full sprint.
Free lovers understand the work that it takes to build this self-love necessary to enjoy the freedom of being single. The problem is that this sprint that I just spoke of is not tiring in the slightest. Life is full of beauty and energy by this point. Challenges become small, and we move forward passed with what tries to slow us down.
We Want Somebody to Keep Up or Even Move Faster Than Us
Though we love to love as well, that doesn’t mean we are going to slow down to do it. We are free, and we intend to keep it that way. To love us, or to even grab our attention, you have to be sprinting just as fast as we are through your life.
We can smell the sense of someone trying to slow us down from a mile away, and we will move away from you with an even more significant need to triumph for ourselves. So with that said, that means you can’t even begin to trick us. We’ve been there and done that.
So that means you have to be able to keep up with us through the tribulations that we have to face.
To have someone that we not only love but can keep up means more than you could ever imagine. Though this doesn’t mean we can’t commit to monogamy, it does mean that you have to be able to remove the unfortunate effects that often come along with it.
Jealousy is perhaps one of the most significant ways to crush any potential we may see in you. Yes, in small controlled proportions, it can be healthy, and maybe even attractive. However, there has to be absolute confidence that resides behind it. If we like you, you will know it. If we want you, we won’t run away from you, but you have to find that trust that is necessary to fend off excessive jealousy.
Stagnation will kill our interest like a professional hitman, and that is without a doubt. We are sprinting, and we need room to run. Putting us in the confines of love’s pastures will drive us insane, and there will be a significant amount of resentment if it shall continue. There is a fantastic space between the compromise of a relationship, and the freedom of individuality in a relationship, and finding that sweet spot is what we dream.
We Want Real, Not a Fairytale
Fairytales are a place of no conflict and absolute happiness. Now, don’t get me wrong; we have high standards for everything we believe.
We want passion. The passion that will ignite a fire that can turn any night into day. So many people say it’s overrated, and I honestly commend those people. If you can live in a relationship that never strikes that chord of pure and absolute passion, you have a determination for love we may never have. We don’t want someone whom we settle into; we want someone who sends us to heights never before seen.
Passion won’t be there every day of our lives, but it has to be there in time. We have to be able to curate many unforgettable adventures in which passion is the leader. It is a cornerstone of who we are, and if we can find it on our own, we wouldn’t dare give it up to settle into someone else that takes it away.
With passion comes conflict, and we expect that. There is a fine line between love and hate. The harder you love, the harder you hate. So, we take that potential for a big reward, and give ourselves to the unknown enemy of risk. It’s an all or nothing deal. Our type of relationship isn’t built for the weak, and it needs full trust and commitment.
We Want Someone Different
There is a point in every relationship that has an expiration date, and that will be the point of no return where everything doesn’t seem to be worth the fight. The conflict will be real, and the fights undeniable, but it will never reach that point.
Here’s the thing, we are looking for someone different, and when we find that someone, there will be nothing to keep us from fighting for them. Yes, conflicts may be significant, but that’s because the relationship is so much bigger.
Another reason we can allow for conflicts is because it is inherent to the relationship that we love ourselves just as our partners love themselves. The arguments will not be because of flares of insecurity, they will not be because of cheating or disrespect. It will be flares of opposing passion that cause the conflict instead.
The conflict is beatable, because with self-love on both sides of the aisle, there will be room for growth and working together. It will become us against the problem instead of one against each other.
We want someone to share ourselves with. That means there will be moments of romance-movie-love.
We will love you like The Notebook. The events won’t be the same, but there will be the same underlying love to support our relationship. Argue all you want, but here’s my point. I am willing to love in a way that could make a movie, love someone in the fight of time, be prepared to make someone unforgettable, to find someone whom you know, that without a doubt, you will want forever, and be able to fight even seemingly unwinnable wars for them. If we are willing to love someone like this, that means someone else has to be willing to do the same in return. That is what makes for movie love. Everything else is just filler.
We Want to Love, but Some May Never Slow Down
For the ones who want to slow down, there will come a day, and that’s without a doubt. The dream of finding that amazing person is the finish line for some of us. Like I said before, though, we reject mediocrity.
All or nothing syndrome is not unheard of for us free lovers, and that means that we are on an endless search for something worth the freedom of being single. There has to be something special in the person that will make us want to slow down.
Until then, however, we won’t even bat an eye until we find at least an inkling of pure love and passion. There isn’t any need for us to find a relationship, and we won’t just go along and find ourselves melting into one.
If we never find it, and our idea of love is unrealistic, then we will become the ones that never slow down, and will never stop. It’s not ideal, but neither is being in a relationship that doesn’t make us happy, and we aren’t afraid of being alone.