To Be Alone with Me

I think we can all agree that some of the best things in life come from relationships, whether it's family, friends, lovers, etc. There is something incredibly extraordinary about the way that humans can interact, connect, and make moments so much more meaningful.

Yes, humans are amazing. But, they're also flawed. Mistakes are made, hearts are broken, lives are torn apart. It is in these moments, that we need to know who we are.

Please hear me when I say relationships are not bad. Not at all! But, they are not enough. They will break you and ruin you if they are all you have. Take a moment, and just be alone.

You will never find yourself in another person, as romantic as that would be. People can help you grow and make you better, but they cannot complete you, and they cannot create you. You have to do that first. Who are you when you have no phone? Who are you when you have no significant other? Who are you when you're not trying to impress anyone?

The years I spent overcoming social anxiety were some of the hardest, but some of the most important. A disorder like that practically forces you to be alone, and if you don't want to go insane, you have to learn to be okay with it. I found myself in the bathroom stall during high school lunch while I was hiding from the crowds. And it sucked.

But then, it didn't. I started to get better. I was put on medication and fought through the anxiety. Eventually I was just like everyone else, going to parties and eating lunch with friends.

But something was different. I could go days without my phone and feel just fine. A friend could decide I wasn't worth her time and I would survive with no scars. Because I knew who I was. In the quiet moments, I had no choice but to think about it. And that saved me.

I wear what I want because I know that it expresses me. I'm not embarrassed of my music because I know why it speaks to me. I have no tolerance for people who do not respect and want me because I know what I am worth.

Be quiet for a while. Let what is buried deep inside have a chance to break through the surface instead of piling on more and more chatter and noise. So much of what we say today is just not worth saying.

Find the silence. Reflect. Go to the beach to watch the waves, not to post a picture of them. Take a drive by yourself with no destination. Wake up with the sunrise because it makes you feel at peace. And keep some things to yourself. Personally, the most empowering thing in my life has been holding moments just for myself. You don't have to tell anyone that you sat on the roof of your car in the middle of the night and watched the stars. And you don't have to tell anyone how that made you feel so freaking alive. Remember that moment and keep it sacred.

BUT, don't become a hermit; that's really not what I'm getting at. Be an individual. Be more than your friend group or your last name. Contribute something worthwhile, something that can only be found in the stillness of solitude. I guarantee that you will not reach your full potential otherwise. There is so much more out there in the world that your eyes will be opened to.

Relationships are so important and so amazing. But you are even more important and even more amazing. Please take some time to be alone. Please take some time to be quiet. You won't regret it.