To Feel Rushed in a Place Where Everything Is Slow

I live in London, in the centra of rush hour. I've lived here for the past two years, probably having quite a normal "Londoner life." I go to uni, I live in a house with my mates, I have a part time job in Notting Hill, I go to the gym and yada yada, you get the picture. But I haven't always lived here, before London I lived in Australia for two years and before that I was being brought up in Sweden. An amazing journey if I could say it myself but here comes the problem:

As a 25 year old in Sweden, you "should" have a decent job, a good education preferably, put a deposit down for a flat/house, have a solid boyfriend, a ring on your finger, and potentially a baby on the way. Every single one from my high school class, without exaggerating, is in a relationship, except for me.

Then there is London, here people put their career first and aim for the stars. They work their asses off and they earn more money than my parents are after 40 years on the market. Most often people in their 20s something here, work 50-60 hours a week, "just because they're building their brand" or "working for their future," which is great but what about the rest of living and having a life you enjoy? Now I'm not saying this path is wrong, it's every man (or woman) for it's own. Naturally people here don't think about partners, kids, and the family spectra until they're around 30-35 years of age, which for me feels quite late.

As I've grown up with young parents, they got me at the age of 25 and my older sister at the age of 22. That is what's always been normal to me but after meeting my British (then) boyfriend in Australia and then moving to London I realised that my normality isn't the same everywhere.

Are you starting to get the problem I have? I want love, I want a fiancé, I want to collect the keys to a joined flat with my boyfriend (oh yeah me and the Brit I met in Australia broke up), I want kids (!!) and if I was still living in Sweden, I probably would. However that is not the life I chose for myself, I wanted more. But, as known, that is not the usual path here, where my life is now. Here people in their 25–30s are going out drinking like I did when I was 18, here most people still live at home till they're 30 (and hey, yeah I completely get it, London is crazy expensive) here they don't commit to someone, to a family until they're past the glory 20s. Don't get me wrong now, I absolutely know that some do however this is general speaking.

So to put it black on white, the problem I'm experiencing is that I want that, all of that, like now but can't seem to find anyone who does too. Now you'll probably think hey wipe your tears and toughen up, just go for an older guy and yeah that is an option however haven't found anyone that matches my criteria so far.

Have I got it all wrong? Have I been searching for my Mr Right (ugh how cheesy) at the wrong places? Or is that just the deal here? (and probably at other larger cities) Have I been hoping for the abnormal? Or is this where I need to work on myself? Overcome some unrealistic hopes and dreams, criteria and guidelines. Maybe this has to do so much more about myself and the problem I'm putting forward, age. Maybe once I find myself in this world and in myself, age won't matter and it won't matter when you have kids as long as you do. Or, as easy as, once I meet someone special I won't feel rushed anymore.

Long sighsfrom a confused Swedish, now converted to English (I guess) girl.