To My Friends

I love you.

You are truly one of the best things to have ever happened to me. I’m not easy to get along with, I know that. Being around someone who doesn’t know how to be happy by herself is a lot, but I am so grateful you deemed me worthy of that work. You’ve shown me more than I would’ve ever learned myself. Thank you for treating me like a person, and not a burden. Thank you for teaching me that I am worthy of being loved. Thank you for your unwavering support, it means more than I will ever be able to articulate.

I hold every memory and inside joke we have close to my heart. The way we can say just one word or strike a certain pose and immediately lift the mood. You understand that sometimes banana bread makes me cry, but also that it isn’t about the banana bread. You know that the ideas I have are not always the best for me, but instead of leaving you stay and help me through the aftermath. You don’t try to pretend to know how everything feels, but you still sympathize with me. You take care of me when I can’t take care of myself, even though that is in no way your job. From making sure I eat, to letting me stay over when it’s rough, to allowing me to join grocery shopping. Thank you for always being there.

You’ve shown me that I can find people that treat me how I want to be treated, instead of as just a pretty accessory to ignore until needed. Despite everything, you’ve understood and respected every boundary no matter how stupid they were. You didn’t take advantage of how stupidly kind I can be sometimes. We can hang out until everyone else in the house is asleep but I still feel safe. No matter how shitty they were about it and no matter how many fits they threw about us being friends, you stayed. You’ve seen me go back to people I never should’ve looked at twice, much less loved. You’ve been there when everything starts hurting and the only emotion I can adhere to the situation is anger. I completely fucked with our friend group but you still stayed. Thank you for viewing me as an actual person.

We didn’t start out as friends, because I was too scared. But opposites attract and after a few dad jokes, the shortest and tallest became friends. You kept me logical, but also knew that sometimes you have to throw logic away in certain situations. I looked forward to every weekend for the entirety of my senior year. Things got really rough that year, but I always knew I could count on you. From getting me a giraffe to keep me company, to helping me do basic things I neglected when it got too stressful, to holding me when I barely made it through the door before crying. You not only supported the purple phase but also helped me touch it up, and assured me it would be okay. We can have fun doing whatever, even if it’s just being in the same room while we do our own thing. Thank you for loving me as me.

You guys are family. Sometimes this becomes a more literal title when I crash at your place and your families include me in their activities. And sometimes me crashing wasn’t just a one-night thing, sometimes it extended into a week. Sometimes my parents didn’t know beforehand. But I was always welcomed. I always felt safe and loved. Life is messy and you don’t always know if the people that you love, love you back. I know with you. I’m terrible at explaining how grateful I am and so I usually just end up crying because I am so grateful. You mean more to me than you will ever know. And I know I say it all the time, but I wouldn’t be here today without you all. You all deserve everything the world has to offer, and I cannot wait to see what you accomplish. It’s cheesy, but you truly are beautiful inside and out.

Home isn’t a place, it’s the people around you. Thank you for being my home.