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To the Boy Who Was Almost My Future

Sometimes we all make the mistake of falling in love far too fast. We look into the sparkling eyes of a new lover and dive head first into a shallow pool of roses. We never realize we are going to snap our necks... not until it’s too late.

By The Darkest SunrisePublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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Sometimes we all make the mistake of falling in love far too fast. We look into the sparkling eyes of a new lover and dive head first into a shallow pool of roses. We never realize we are going to snap our necks... not until it’s too late.

When I looked into your eyes I saw crystal blue oceans. Those same eyes held a turquoise sadness that dampened my energy. You fooled me with a love I had longed for for as long as I can remember. You anchored me to your being and took me on a ride I adored. Never did I imagine I’d find myself gripping the handles eager to get off. You made me feel beautiful and dainty on days I felt hideous and bloated. You wanted me when I felt as if no one ever could. You pleaded with me to never hurt you when my brain did not so much as think about my skin colliding with another. You held me accountable for my mess. You helped me clean it up.

You were there when nobody gave me the time of day. Then one day, like clockwork, you were gone. We were still together and I was so happy for that but one day the light faded in your eyes. I was no longer your precious girl. You looked at me as if I were merely a stranger on the opposite side of the street. But I sat perched in the tree that I called our love waiting for you to climb up.

I watched you like a vulture and tried everything I could to make you want me again. I studied you like you were prey and I a predator. I needed you and you sat at along the stump in the shade while I burned in the sun atop the tree.

You abandoned me in my darkest of hours. When you told me you missed her I felt my world shatter. I’m sure I looked a fool when you made my world shatter after two weeks. I started to pray. I prayed that you were different and that one day you’d see that she was the foundation that collapsed beneath your withered house. I’d hoped we could rebuild, but no. Days and weeks went on as I filled the role of a pleading stranger.

My beauty faded day by day and I could feel my energy weakening. Our love was no longer a overwhelming tree but more like an attic full of broken memories and obliterated dreams. I stayed to sort through the piled up boxes while you sat at the foot of the stairs. Nothing mattered to you anymore. I was part of that nothing. I think that’s what hurt the most. As even more time went on my toes left circles in the dusty floor. Every now and then I’d peer down the stairs but you wouldn’t so much as look at me. It hurt me more than you’ll ever know. Dusty paintings of what our love used to be stacked against the grungy attic wall. I stared at them in hopes that our happiness would come alive again.

There would be times where I would sit in front of the paintings and close my eyes and remember a time when we were happy. You would hold me and I would scratch your back. You met people who held the utmost importance in my life. I remember us all sitting together mesmerized by this happiness you would always bring to the room. But you missed her and that made every day of being a stranger that much worse.

I started to get angry. I would walk down the stairs to provoke you and within seconds sprint back up to watch us fade away. Until one day I heard the stairs creak. My heart leaped out of my belly button when I realized you were venturing up the stairs. For once the warmth returned in my heart. I felt like I was your precious girl again. When our eyes touched it all blew away in the wind.

Our gazes met for only seconds before you draped a dirty tapestry over our painting. My heart fell to my feet as I watched you venture down the stairs again. That’s when I knew that I was no long a mere stranger. I was absolutely nothing to you. You were engrossed in the memories she gave you but failed to acknowledge the wrongs she’d done. She hurt you and I planned to fix it. But I guess you didn’t want me to. I guess this was all to much for you. But the saddest part of this whole thing is I would have given you anything. I would have saved you from your pain. I would have seen you through whatever. But now I’ll going through life knowing that you were almost my future.

breakups
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About the Creator

The Darkest Sunrise

Hello beautiful souls! Open book vibes over here!

Check out my podcast where you can learn to become your best self! <3

https://open.spotify.com/show/5cwcBivrINaGKqRLtBaGOx?si=kJMHUF_yQj2epM84RYSi_Q

Have the best day and drink your water! <3

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