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To the Girl Who Needs to Find Herself Again

This is for you.

By M FPublished 6 years ago 5 min read
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Somewhere along the line, life happened. And you got swept off your feet into the vortex where you lost yourself.

You got confused between who you were and who the world wanted you to be. You forgot how incredibly special and amazing you are. You’ve forgotten how talented and blessed you are. You’ve sacrificed who you are for who they want you to be. You’ve allowed other people to tell you who you are. You’ve forgotten everything about you that makes you you.

“Do you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” —Danielle LaPorte

For far too long, you've put your happiness in the hands of others. You’ve allowed your happiness to depend on someone else. You’ve put others before yourself and allowed their happiness to be more important than yours. You’ve allowed your emotions to be pawns in other people’s games. You’ve wanted so badly to be accepted that your identity, along with self-worth, were the price. You’d rather place blame than accept responsibility. You’ve looked to others for fulfillment when you should’ve looked to yourself. You’ve forgotten how to love yourself. You’ve forgotten how to be you.

“You should never abandon yourself in the effort to keep someone or something.” —Anna Bashedly

You’ve been so lost in the whirlwind of life that you’ve tricked yourself into thinking that you’re happy until the high ends. Until your friends leave and you feel all alone. Until you hit rock bottom.

You’ve become someone that you don’t recognize. Someone who you thought you were supposed to be. And you don’t want to be that girl. You’ve become that girl that you promised yourself you never would become, the girl that doesn’t know who she is.

You tell yourself that you’re happy. That you love the life that you live until you’re laying in bed late at night and it all hits you—hose fundamental life questions. What are you even doing with your life? Who are you? Are you satisfied with where you are at? Are you really happy? And you can’t escape the resounding no that you feel because you know it’s the truth.

You’ve tried to be what everyone else needed instead of what you need. You’ve conceded when you should’ve fought. You’ve tried to be who you thought people expected you to be, to please them instead of pleasing yourself. You’ve gotten so caught up in everything else that you’ve lost yourself along the way.

“She’s stuck between who she is, who she wants to be, and who she should be."

You have spent so long living for others that you’ve forgotten how to live for yourself. You’ve looked for love in all the wrong places, and happiness in all the wrong people. You’ve constantly looked to others for approval and acceptance when you don’t even accept yourself.

You’ve done everything that the world has told you would make you happy, and it has left you with nothing but unhappiness.

You’ve been so desperately trying to fill that void, but nothing you do, nothing you get, or anyone you meet ever seems to be able to fill it. At the end of the day, you feel empty. You feel lost.

You feel overwhelmed with life and everything that is going on in your life but you don’t know what to do. You’re stressed out and sometimes it almost seems like you’re drowning and there’s no escape. You look for help in others when you should have looked within yourself. Others can aid, but ultimately, no one can save you except yourself. You have to help yourself. You’re the only person that is always going to be there for yourself.

With confusion comes clarity. It’s OK to feel lost and to question everything. Everyone has had a time in their lives when they felt lost. But then they found themselves in the wilderness. You have to find yourself, too. And, maybe, you need to lose yourself to find yourself.

You put so much pressure on yourself to be the person your family and friends expect you to be when all you’ve ever needed to be was yourself. You have only ever had to be enough for you. You’ve only ever needed yourself. No one else matters. You choose to let their opinions matter when they don’t. People only affect you if you allow them to. The question is, when will it be enough? When will the cycle end? When all the noise of the world stops, how loud is your presence in the silence?

Life is speeding past you and you’re just a twenty-year-old girl that has no idea what she wants to do with her life. You’re panicking because you think you’re running out of time. You’re growing up and you feel the pressure to decide, but you don’t know how. You don’t even know what you want for breakfast in the morning. Everyone tells you that you need to get your act together and figure your life out. But this whole "adulting" thing is new. Cut yourself some slack. You are still trying to find out who you are.

Regardless of what anyone tells you, you don’t have to have this whole thing figured out. You just need to find yourself. And once you find that badass, unconditionally love that person. Because once you love yourself, everything else will fall into place.

Just because the world tells you that’s how you’re supposed to do life or who you’re supposed to be doesn’t mean you have to agree. Don’t allow someone else’s journey to be your journey. Dare to be different. And don’t be afraid to be unconventional.

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” —Dr. Seuss

There are billions of people in this world. But there is only one you. Don’t let anyone try to change you or tell you who to be. There is no one else in this world like you. You have the ability to make a difference. The size of that difference is up to you. But please don’t waste your life not being true to who you are.

No matter how lost you may feel, rest assured that you will find yourself again. Life is better when you live it on your own terms, being who you want to be.

“There’s nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection.” —Steve Maraboli

advice
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About the Creator

M F

Your Feelings Are Valid Author. Chainsmokers and Fletcher fanatic. Quote lover. More emotional than your typical Capricorn. TPA. ISTJ. Lesbian. Asian.

Insta: @garnishdaddy. Owner of Native Cocktail Events

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