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Take a step back, look at the bigger picture. Are things as they seem? On the outside, they look like they are happy, healthy, and what every person could want, but are they really? It takes a good long hard look and some digging for anyone to find out otherwise, except you. You know that it is not good for you and you know that you’d be happier without them, so what is stopping you? Time. Commitment. Effort. So many things are stopping you from pulling the plug that you have known for so long should be pulled. What if they change? What if you can make it better? You just want to make a big band-aid and fix it to make it be how it was when things first started. Back when it was new, fresh, loving and happy. When you could look them in the eye and see all of the fun and all of the light that your relationship could make. You probably wonder to yourself, what changed? Did I do something? Did they do something? The answer to both questions is usually yes. You both changed. New opportunities came along, “better” things came into your lives, you found joy in other people and things, and within the blink of an eye, your relationship began to unfold before you.
The tattered pieces of what once was and what you had hoped that it would always be. One of the hardest things is finally realizing that they are dragging you down and who they are is hard. Bustle released an article titled "5 Types of Subtly Toxic People To Cut Out Of Your Life" by Caitlin Flynn and in this article they list the following people: those who take advantage of you, judgemental people, negative people, childish and overly immature people, and controlling and jealous people. The hardest part is realizing that even the people who you love the most and the people who are supposed to love you, are those people who are really not there for you. The people who secretly have issues beyond repair or the people who seek to tear others down. It can be stealthy, it can be discreet, and it can especially be clouded by your love for the person, the way they make you feel, or how long they have been in your life. Things aren’t always what they are cracked up to be. The slipper does not always fit. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. I hope to be the brutal truth that someone needs—the beacon of light to guide you out of your daze and the soul to tell you that you’ll survive without them. Cut the ties. One day you will thank yourself for it and when you do, you will realize how much more life has to offer you than that one person. The person who was secretly tearing you down, holding you back from what was meant to be yours, the person you invested so much time into for little result, and the person you once thought that you loved no matter what.
Pray that one day their soul changes and that they realize that they lost a good one. When the people who had been surrounding them turn out to be there only for the better, but not for the worst. You don’t have to sacrifice your happiness for someone else’s. It took my almost 21 years to figure that out and I could not be happier that I have come to that realization. You are stronger than any insult. You are better than any fight. YOU are your own light, so shine bright little star. Things get better, it just takes time. You can do this and you will thank yourself for it eventually, trust me.