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It is really hard to trust people especially when you have been hurt over and over again.
Being able to trust someone is the ability to rely on them and become confident in them. Being confident that they will do what they say they will do, being confident that they will be there for you and they won’t abuse or take advantage of you. However, when you have opened up to people in your life whether it be through friendship, family or relationships; if people keep on letting you down then you will lose all confidence in people in general.
Being constantly let down will bring pain, and pain causes withdrawal and it will cause you to be very skeptical.
Even if new people come into your life you will hold them accountable for what people have done to you in the past. It is not right but sadly we are human, and we tend to hold on to our past more times than we like to admit. We hold on to pain and walk around with it. It becomes our burden and no matter how much we try it is so hard to drop it. We use the pain as a shield; as the reason why, we shouldn’t give another person the chance to do that again. We grasp so tightly to the pain and use it has the reason why not to trust again.
If we even give people a chance to get close to use and we give them some level of trust; once we see any trace of familiar behavior. Behavior that reminds of something we previously have been through in our past then we shut down and the little trust we had in them fades away. It is as if once we have been hurt we never really give people another chance. Even if we say we are giving people a chance, in the back of our mind we are just waiting for them to mess up, waiting for them to hurt us as everyone else has done.
I myself have been there I have been through a lot which has caused me to really lose trust in people. I have family, friends and even people I was in a relationship who have broken my trust and really have hurt me but as I get older I have learned that I can't hold everyone in my life accountable for someone else's mistake. Everyone deserves a fair chance even though it maybe so scary to open up to people and let them in; I should give them a chance. Give them a clean slate. If they didn’t do me something wrong shouldn’t they be seen as innocent until proven guilty?
However, some people see people as guilty until proven innocent. Hold on to the possibility that the person will do something to break that trust.
If your ex has hurt, you and made mistakes; don't let your new boyfriend pay for those mistakes. Give him a fair chance.
Everyone deserves a fair chance. I am sure that even you have broken someone trust at some point in your life and I know that you wouldn’t want your past mistakes to be held against you or even worst you wouldn’t want to be held accountable for someone else’s mistakes.
So why do that to someone else?
Yes, opening up to people is hard and of course it is important to protect yourself but don’t push everyone away because of something that they themselves may not have done.
To trust someone is a gamble but in order to make anything work whether it be a romantic relationship or just a friendship we have to be able to have some level of trust. There is a chance that person can break that trust but there is also a chance that they can prove you wrong.