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Types of Profile Pictures You'll See on Every Dating App

Picture book, pictures of yourself underwater, taken on a trip a long time ago; and other profile pictures you'll see on every dating app.

By Ben KharakhPublished 6 years ago 6 min read
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If you've ever tried online dating, then you must have immediately noticed that there are profile pictures you'll see on every dating app. And it's not even uncool photos that you're seeing on repeat; it's all of them! A lot of people just have the same ideas about what it means to put your best foot forward. In fact, as you scroll through the pictures below you might start to think you're on a dating profile rather than reading an article. Don't fight it if you become smitten; be open to love.

Head Tucked Into a Fur Lined Coat

Winter, summer, or fall: this is one of the profile pictures you'll see on every dating app. We all crave warmth, whether it be that of a fur lined hoodie or in the arms of our partner. But we also want to know what you look like without half your face hidden by your Canada Goose parka jacket. Swipe left!

"Which one of these people are you?!"

A photo of you with a group of friends is one of the profile pictures you'll see on every dating app. It shows you're sociable and gives a hint at the sort of friend group one may potentially enter into if a casual meet up progresses into a relationship. The problem is, however, that you might not be the most attractive person in your group photo, making your potential match think, "Wish this wasn't their profile." Or, what's worse, you might not even be able to tell which one of the people in the profile photo you're actually supposed to be. Meeting someone is hard enough as it is thanks to gaslighters in everyday dating. We don't want to also have to play detective to figure out who's who in your pics. Swipe left!

Making the same face as a pet or baby.

These are just great! A woman winking along with her cat, a man looking as pugnacious as his nephew, or puffing out your cheeks to match your chinchilla. You see these profile pictures you'll see on every dating app and it's always a treat! It shows off that you're able to let loose and have fun and love something more than you love yourself. It's the opposite of a shirtless guy pic! Aww; I just hurt my own feelings. Swipe right!

Shirtless Guys

Article after article encourages guys not to post pictures of themselves with their shirts off, and yet shirtless pictures of guys are an example of one of the profile pictures you'll see on every dating app. Look, if you really want people to see a picture of yourself shirtless do what I did: write an article just like this and when you get to the part about pictures of guys shirtless just use a picture of yourself! Bingo bango swipe left!

Picture That Is Not You

A meme? Seriously?! You have 8 photos that you can use to attract someone's attention and you're going with a meme? That's a red flag! This should not be one of the profile pictures you'll see on every dating app and yet it is! It's not as bad as an artist's rendering of yourself or even samples of your artwork. Artwork is more of a good idea than a bad one in my book because you're communicating how important your art is to you, you're being emotionally vulnerable, you're giving me a peek into how your brain works, and you're setting us up for something to talk about.

A meme is just a wasted opportunity that I, at least, find immediately off putting. Unless it's one of those Demotivators. Those are great! "Motivation: If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon." Hahaha! I can't wait to go on a date with that poster. Maybe we'll hit it off and then I'll need to know the 10 things not to post on social media while you're in a relationship. Oh, wait, it's not the poster's profile? Swipe left!

Protesting!

Photo By Marisa Iati Courtesy of NJ.com

The Worst of Us is president, of course pictures at protests are pictures you'll see on every dating app. It's 2018: how could you not be mentioning intersectional feminism, democratic socialism, or Black Lives Matter on your profile?! And if you actually support President Sex Criminal then there's a good chance people are going to swipe left on you. On OkCupid, for example, 72% of users think supporting Homeopathic Hitler is a deal breaker! Enjoy your Trump sandwich! Swipe left; swipe right; A A B B UP UP DOWN HADUOUKEN! Orange Julius; KOed.

Person with Fish

"Take me to the river; drop me in the water!" No, that's not someone with a Big Mouth Billy Bass; that's just a big mouthed bass... suffocating while you pose next to it. It's not Don Jr. and Erik Trump posing with big game they killed in Africa, but it's got us thinking about them. Euch, we hate thinking about them! GET THEM OUT OF OUR HEADS! Some people actually do post pictures of themselves with bigger animals they've killed because they really want us to know they're capable of killing. Good to know when our biggest fear isn't having our hearts broken but getting murdered on a date. Swipe left!

Underwater

Okay, we get it: you travel a bunch and are physically active in ways that extend beyond standard cardio. But we are not going to be seeing you underwater. This isn't The Shape of Water. You're not going to be feeding us masturbation eggs while trying to out run Michael Shannon. This ranks up there with a photo of someone in front of a historic landmark or on top of a mountain as one of the profile pictures you'll see on every dating app. Honestly, I feel a exhausted just looking at the photos of someone who's been all over the world. I have my own plans and aspirations and my schedule cannot accommodate your climbing gym habits or going to Egypt! SWIPE LEFT!

No Head Pic

Full body; no head. No face. This is one of the profile pictures you'll see on every dating app. This person might want to maintain their privacy because they have outdated ideas about internet dating. But more likely this is someone's kink profile. They'll even mention a vanilla profile that also happens to be on the same app. They might be there for BDSM, a threesome, cuckolding, etc. For whatever reason they don't want to make a profile on fetlife. Hopefully they find someone who's GGG. Swipe left!

Person Frozen in Time as They Tuck Legs Behind Them While Jumping

We're not going to blame you for capturing yourself in Wachowski style bullet time. We've done it ourselves! A lot of people have. That's why this is one of those profile pictures you'll see on every dating app. In front of tourist attractions, at the beach, in front of woods; a person in a celebratory leap is just a good time, party situation. All that's missing is a +1. Will it be us??? Swipe right!

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About the Creator

Ben Kharakh

Manic pixie dream goth. With appearances in Fortune, Vice, Gothamist, and McSweeney's.@benkharakh

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