What Do We Do Now

I have come to notice that most relationships go through a phase in which the two participants become distant, loveless, sometimes angry, sexless, etc. I have especially seen this in couples that have produced children, a loved family member passes away, basically just big changes that are hard for the human mind to process.

In my own experience, I feel like this is mostly fear to relate or be intimate even in a nonsexual way. The thought of being touched in any way sparks extreme anxiety. Hopefully, I'm not the only one and someone will find this information useful. This is called a chemical inbalance in the brain. There are many things that contribute to decreased sex drive; manic depression, depression, anxiety, intense anger issues, a sense of hate towards the world for what it had done to you. But I am here to tell you that nothing that has been thrown at you is your significant other's fault. You don't absolutely have to blame or hate them for everything that has happened.

It is so hard to get past this; I am in it as I write this. When you're alone and feel abandoned, they will always be there and you have to believe in that. It may be the only light that can guide you through this hell that you are enduring. You should never have to face your problems alone. You should never have to drive them away and cut them out. Life may feel like it is at its worst right now but nothing is as bad as actually being alone because you pushed everyone away. In reality, you may feel alone but part of you knows that your significant other is there right now for when you need them. I know how that feels.

I have seen others get through this painful phase so I believe I can too and you as well (whoever may be reading this)... When things are at their darkest, look to your love for the light. One day we will all look back and think about how crazy it was that we even felt this way or that we wanted to disappear and we are so glad that we didn't. I don't have statistics or charts but I do have personal experience and I know that the pain subsides one day. We just have to choose happiness instead of sadness and anger. It's all in our heads. It is all a matter of choice. Don't forget that; we don't HAVE to be in pain.

Love yourself. Love your other.