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This poem below really got me through my break-up because what I got from it is that not all loves last—not all relationships last. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell which love will last and which ones aren’t meant to last. There are little signs all over the place and we choose to ignore them because they aren’t a big deal, like forgetting how to show he appreciates you every day. Not everyone needs something big, but little things like opening the door for you, giving you a kiss on the forehead before they leave, or even offering to rub your feet because they know you’ve had a long day. Some things are sometimes expected like "thank you" or "I love you," but when someone means it and doesn’t say it as a routine, it’s special. We often forget how to show appreciation through little things every day instead of birthdays, anniversaries, or stupid made up Hallmark holidays.
Sometimes you’re in a relationship and you think everything is going great but then everything, all the time you spent working on little details blows up in your face and you’re stuck thinking where did it go all wrong. Sometimes there are no signs indicating that this relationship is sinking like the Titanic, but it does. Those are the worsts because you couldn’t even prepare yourself for the inevitable. We know when our relationships are coming to an end and when you really love someone it’s hard to let go even if you know it’s best for the both of you. Letting go is the hardest thing to do, because you can’t imagine losing this person you’ve spend X amount of time with, having to start all over with someone else. It’s hard and it sucks!
You deserve more! You deserve someone who doesn’t make you feel like you’re trying so hard to make something work. Relationships aren’t easy, we all know that, but they also shouldn’t feel like you’re pulling teeth. What relationships need is a lot of work from both or all parties. There are going to be hard times, but you know when they’re willing to talk it out or try to fix the issues that it might just be someone worth trying for.
The end sucks, but after, it’s beautiful. You learn so much not just about yourself and how you handle arguments or disagreements, but you learn what you want in a relationship and what you deserve in it, too. If someone is putting in as much effort as you are, then that’s worth fighting for, sometimes. You learn to love yourself more because you know your worth and you know that no matter what happens you will end up better than you were before. You are strong and you are beautiful.
After a While by Veronica A. Shoffstall
After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
And you learn to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and that you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
with every goodbye you learn...