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What I Learned from Them

The Lessons I've Learned from My Past Relationships

We've had relationships and some were great while they last and others were not so great. Some we love to remember while others we regret and wished they'd be push to the back of our mine. Though each relationship was different, there is one thing in common that they all had: they taught us something. 

Personally, I feel that each relationship teaches me something, whether it is about myself or the world around. Something is learned and I'm here to share what I believe they taught me. Now please keep in mind that I'm only 19 and I've only had two past relationships and I still have a lot to learn.

I've also shortened a lot of details because I didn't want to overwhelm you with details.

1. First Relationship

My first real relationship (yes, real relationship, not the little cute ones we had in elementary school where we'd share our snacks and take turns down the slide) was in my sophomore year of high school. We were in the same grade and both of us were in marching band, so we saw each other a lot. I was a flute player while he was a percussionist with my brother.

This relationship lasted til my senior year but it was called on a "break" during junior year because both of us were stressed and other personal reasons. I will not lie, when I first dated him, he was beyond great. He met my expectations of a boyfriend. He treated me nicely, my family and friends liked him, he was athletic, and he liked some things I liked. It was wonderful relationship.

When we officially broke up during senior year, I found out that the relationship wasn't as great as I thought it was. Because he was my first boyfriend, I didn't know how to approach it. My grandmother gave me advice all the time (even when I didn't want it), but who was I to refuse it. I changed myself to be the "perfect" girlfriend yet he never talked about me the way he talked about his former crushes. I blinded myself and told myself that the reason was because I wasn't go enough and I needed to change.

He'd push the idea of being high school sweethearts anytime we get into an argument and that he was sure I was the one he wanted to marry. It was like he had everything planned out from day one and yet here I was going with the flow. Now, I don't always justify actions with zodiac signs but he was a Virgo and I'm a Gemini, and I read that sometimes this pairing works but it requires work from both sides.

After the relationship, we stayed friends. A lot of my friends noticed that I became more happy and free-spirited. Almost like I got rid of my puppeteer. I felt happier, honestly.

What I learned about myself from the relationship: I learned that I'm a laid back girlfriend. I don't get jealous easily but I do get jealous. I learned that though I do plan, I'm not the type to plan something to the littlest detail because plans do go wrong and I like spontaneous.

I'm not the type to deal with materialistic things. Sure little gifts such as my favorite candy or a little teddy bear is great, but I'd just appreciate a good morning/ good night text/call or a small remainder that you think about me. It's the small things.

2. Second Relationship

The next relationship I had didn't happen until about a year and half afterwards. It during the summer going into my sophomore year of college. I didn't rush into finding another person even though my ex did about a month later. I felt like I should learn more about myself by myself because I was in a relationship for so long. I did go on some dates here and there, but I felt I wasn't ready for a relationship.

I met this guy through a friend. My friend, her roommate/friend and I were at the mall and him and another friend found us and joined the group cause the more the merrier, right? When he was introduced to me she called him a hippie and I thought that she was joking. After a while we went to my friend's house to hang out some more because it was getting hot and the mall was an outside walk around mall. While we all were at her house, we were talking, joking, and whatever, but I felt him looking at me. A couple days after that, he found me on Instagram and started messaging me through that. The way he talked showed proved he was but I liked it because something about him "vibed" with me. I had friends (that heard from others) and an ex girlfriend of his tell me he was a player that claims you're the one and yada-yada-yada.

We dated for 2 months (and that's short to me cause I'm not a short term person). I thought he was great guy but when I had my downs or needed him, I felt that he didn't want to be around, but I ignored it because we could talk about it. We had plans to go to a car meet and something happened to cause them to fall through. When I told him, he went off on me and I cried. I later found out that he had a bad day and him and his dad got into it. After a while (and I hate saying this) I lost feelings. When I told him, once again he got upset and I understand why but I felt it was for the best.

What I learned from this relationship: I learned that just because you and significant other mesh well, there will be things that need to be adjusted. Not everything can be ignored and you'd have to talk some things out.

Overall, past relationships are of course in the past, but I feel we should always have something we learned from them. Though some we'd loved to forget and pretend they didn't happen, we still learn what we can from them.

My current relationship, though we've been together for only 1 month, I am happy. He knows some of my past as I do his and we just keep learning about each other. I hope as we grow as a couple we learn from each other and not ourselves. 

Read next: The Sure Thing
Free Spirit
Free Spirit

I'm just a college student who wants to share pieces of my mind with everyone.

I want to major in Criminal Justice but my hobbies tend to be dancing and learning what I can about any and everything.

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