What I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me

When I get into a relationship, I never think, man I cannot wait to get my heart broken. When I first met him we were working together but never really talked. He caught my eye but I wasn’t going to approach him. Soon to come was a friend request from him. I thought oh my goodness he sent me a friend request!? I’m not going to say things like I wish he hadn’t or what was it I thought replying back to his message. I didn’t know any better but oh did I learn. On our first date we went out to lunch and then went our separate ways. That night he wanted to go to the pier and asked me to go with him. “Wow he can’t get enough, I just saw him two hours ago and he already wants to see me again!?” I’d never had attention like that. We spent the entire night walking the pier and sitting in his car just talking, and after that night I felt like I had known him forever. I was still attending school at this time and we would do the all-nighters talking for awhile and I would go to school so tired but so happy. School ended and we spent every moment we could together and I thought maybe it was too much but he didn’t seem to mind. All of a sudden we were talking about moving in together and by late winter that is what we did. I thought the way he treated me was okay. I became immune to it. In reality I put up with so much when I shouldn’t have. He began to compliment me in ways that didn’t even make me feel good. He would refuse to do the activities I enjoyed doing, it was always about him. He didn’t even support what I wanted for my future but, couldn’t even come up with one thing he wanted for his. I stayed because I thought this is how it is supposed to be. Then all of a sudden what I thought wasn’t great to begin with became even worse. He was so mysterious about things, spent even less amounts of time with me, and started becoming negative about everything. So I would spend more time with others thinking maybe space will help him. Space was not what he needed at all. I had this gut feeling about another girl he was around and I should have saw it coming from a mile away. He was sleeping with this other girl in the same apartment we were sharing at the time. I felt like I was trapped, he told me I couldn’t go to the place I was calling home, he said he didn’t love me and never did. I was stupid and thought “I would still be with him in a heartbeat if I had the chance.” I didn’t have that chance and I am thankful for his actions. He claims to be happy with her. Me? I have moved on and I have now realized that sometimes you settle for less because you think nothing better will come along. Let me tell you, that is wrong. Just be patient and don’t shoot down opportunities because you could be missing out on bigger and better things. So if you are stuck in that toxic relationship, get out of it. Don’t settle for someone who isn’t trying. Find yourself and love who you are. Then when you find the right person you will share all of that wonderful energy and time with someone who deserves it.