What Is Marriage?

So much planning is spent on a wedding — but how much planning goes into having a marriage? How many people that confess their love for one another sit down with a pre-marital counselor or life coach to explore issues and goals for creating a marriage? If individuals that agreed to marry took the time to receive insight into a meaningful healthy marriage before the wedding, then maybe the divorce rate would not be so high. I do not think many times individuals have the same clear understanding of marriage which can and lead to confusion and ultimately unfortunately divorce. I do not believe that anyone get marries to only end their marriage in divorce. I do not believe that divorce is the goal when two people decide to get married. Its beneficial for any partner to explore with an effort to understand if they have found a good mate fit for marriage. The toll that divorce takes on two individuals that agreed to holy matrimony not to mention the children can be brutal. So many people put more emphasis in planning a wedding than the actual planning of the marriage. When two whole, healthy, completed individuals come together many things should be taken into consideration before actual planning the wedding:

1. The person's health.
2. Individual careers.
3. The individual financial status (credit).
4. Staring a family or creating a blended family.
5. Childhood baggage (respect for their own mom or dad and opposite gender family relations).
6. Individual thoughts on loyalty, trust infidelity and sexual intercourse.

These are the many different dynamics that comprise having a marriage. The important thing to remember during the dating phase is that you have a choice before deciding to take a direction towards marriage. One may never truly know their partner completely due to the different phases and changes of life. The dating phase of a relationship can be the best place to explore dynamics created in a marriage. An individual in a dating relationship can decide what they can tolerate being in a relationship and what they won't tolerate. There are pros and cons to every relationship. No individual comes with a blue print of what to expect or what one will receive. I can write about this because I have been married for ten years now and can share my knowledge from the insight I have gained thus far. We have a blended family and blended families are not the easiest but can work out. Ten years later, most of our children are grown except for our current fourteen year old who currently resides in our household. Not to mention the over sixty-year-old parents that we both have that also require our attention. My husband and myself delved into premarital counseling before going to the alter and I will say that it did not totally prepare us for the integral growth aspects and issues that took place once we became married. No marriage is guaranteed. In marriage, there is some heart ache and pain while growing as an individual and as a couple. I love providing insight to newly-in-love individuals that have decided to plan a wedding without looking at the many aspects for creating a marriage. Yes, when two people love each other there is usually nothing that one would not do to keep and sustain that love, but it's important to explore the many dynamics involved in having a marriage. Having constructed conversations and teachings on marriage can help individuals who plan to marry have a better understanding of what each believe marriage is before actually planning the wedding.