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What Is Monogamy?

And is it right for you?

By Teela HudakPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Monogamy is the relationship style where two people are in a committed relationship. Two people are sexually committed to each other and do not engage in any sexual activities with anyone else. This is the most commonly accepted type of relationship in today's North American society. It is also commonly held up as the ideal relationship and a way to see success in love.

We are taught since young children that this is the only relationship style that exists and the perfect one we should all strive for. All children's stories talk about the "one true love" and people living "happily ever after" at the end of the story with the love interest. Monogamy probably doesn't need much of an explanation or an introduction to most people. It is what many of us have been raised with. But how far back does it go? Were humans always monogamous?

History of Monogamy

Monogamous relationships are a relatively newer concept for humanity. If we look back through history, stretching back to hunter and gatherer times, we have records indicating that people used to have multiple relationships. It was common practice for men to have multiple wives.

The practice of polygamy continued as agriculture became popular and access to larger amounts of food became available. The practice continued through the rise of ancient civilizations such as China, Egypt, the Middle East, and Western Europe. Men who had higher status had multiple wives and were able to increase their ability to reproduce while men of lower status rarely had a single wife.

In the Middle Ages, humanity started to see a decline in polygynous relationships. As Christianity began to rise in popularity and gain more influence, monogamy began to become highly encouraged. As society continued to advance and embrace Christian ideals, monogamy became more of a moral sense in societies that were striving for social equality. The social equality gave men of lower status a chance to be able to find a wife and pass down their family name.

As time passed, these values became more accepted and commonplace. Society may have also been influenced by our growing medical knowledge. As with the development of our understanding of sexually transmitted infections, maintaining sexual fidelity with one partner seems safer and more practical. During the original outbreak of the AIDS crisis, having multiple partners may have seemed reckless.

A Socially Held Up Ideal

Monogamy is the current social standard. It is the idea that we are all taught as kids as romantic and pushed to embrace. But is it right for us?

The reality for this ideal is that it's not always perfect. Betrayal is something that many people experience in monogamous relationships. Cheating and infidelity happen. It's unpleasant and a huge breach of trust. That doesn't stop people from being unfaithful to their commitment.

As with so many other aspects of our sexuality, that is inherently a personal choice. There is no right or wrong answer. Each person must decide for themselves. Whether or not this relationship style is right for you will depend on a series of factors that may change over your lifespan. It might be what you wish to pursue with one partner but not all partners, or one time of your life but not another.

Finding Your Way to Happiness

Relationships can be very complicated and finding one that works for you is not the easiest thing in the world. We all stumble along our journey. Take time to explore what will be right for you. The more you understand your own desires and needs, the clearer you can communicate them to potential partners. Being clear and upfront can help avoid a lot of unnecessary pain and anguish. Your journey to a fulfilling relationship takes time and knowledge.

Enjoyed this article? Check out the other great articles, games, and more on my website.

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About the Creator

Teela Hudak

Teela is a Vancouver-based Sex Educator & Relationship Expert. Learn more at: https://exploresextalk.com/

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