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What She Thinks

I know I'm a man, but I wanted to post this because I'm the type of guy that’s always there for my boys and my girls.

By josh napperPublished 6 years ago 8 min read
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I know I'm a man, but I wanted to post this because I'm the type of guy that’s always there for my boys and my girls. I might not always know the pain they been through, and I don’t need to know. I might not always understand at first or get it all understood by the end, but they know I'm going to try harder than their past. We all need one or two people that we can go to whenever we are down in the gutter for one reason or another, so I'm gonna be one of those people in my people’s life. So, this is dedicated to all my girls from Ms. Peter Pan to a great person/friend, even the best little sister who I know our paths will cross one day. I look into their eyes and try to break down their walls to their heart while causing the least amount of hurt and maximum smiles. And sadly, these are just some of the random thoughts that I know they sometimes have. To my girls, I know you don’t want to open up to another person because of your past, but I’ll be ready if you ever do. To the others that stumble upon this, go find one or two that you feel safe enough to express yourself to, feel free to send a message my way if you wanna.

I will always be fine when you ask, but if you look in my eyes you can see what lies inside. All the tears, fears and worries about life.

My feelings I hide, my dreams I can't find, I'm losing my mind, I'm fallen behind, I can't find my place, I'm fallen from grace, I'm all over the place.

Just because I'm smiling, doesn't mean that I'm alright, and just because you don't see me, doesn't mean I never cry myself to sleep at night.

I’m at the end of her rope and ready to let go! How much can one person be expected to take?

A fake smile, a random laugh, even an occasional smiley face in a text and people believe you're fine, but inside you feel lost.

Thanks to the past, it is hard to trust the future.

I will do as I have always done...endure.

Think it really sucks when you've been hurt so many times that you can't even trust someone that you want to trust SO bad?

I didn't think it was possible to feel this empty, this lost. So many ways to go, but no one there, nothing but darkness. This is what broken feels like.

Head up. Stay strong. Fake a smile. Move on.

A smile can cover up almost everything, except a broken heart and tears.

I wish I was little again, the only thing that broke were your crayons and the only thing you hated about life was when there were not enough toys in your room.

I stand here all alone in the dark wanting to be held close. Nobody seems to give a crap about how I feel. Being here in the dark alone hurts my broken heart.

You will always see me smiling, but have you ever really looked into my eyes?

Too many tears have run down my cheek, too many times my heart has been broken, too many scars lie upon my heart. Yet somehow, I'm still smiling through the pain...

Though I smile everyday, sometimes I want someone to look past that smile and say, "Just let it out. I'm here for you," and give me their shoulder to cry on.

Giving up just seems so much easier at this point.

Why do I still believe there's some good in you when all you have done is lie & hurt me?

Even though I really love you, I'm gonna smile, because I deserve to. It'll all get better in time. Thanks for showing me that my friends care more than you ever did.

My heart is now protected by 3 ft of brick with a security system the CIA couldn't hack. Have fun getting through that.

If you look through the bullet hole, you'll see a shattered heart behind her gorgeous smile.

I fell in love with you, gave you my heart, wanted to spend my life with you and all you did was take me for granted and hand me back my broken heart.

All I want is someone who cares, a shoulder to cry on, arms to hold me, and an ear to listen.

My smile says I'm strong, my heart says I'm fragile.

You may think I'm strong, but sometimes alone I cry.

Just because I act or look like I'm fine, doesn't always mean I am.

People say to always follow your heart. But when the heart is broken, which piece should I follow?

When you finally realize you don't matter to your family and all they can do is point out how you screwed up, it makes you wonder if u matter to anyone.

Don't worry about it...It's just my feelings...it's not like they matter to you anyway.

I am done being the only one who is trying to keep this working. If you don't want to be a part of my life, it's your loss.

We might be related, but that does not give you permission to treat me wrong.

It's sad when the people who are supposed to love you and be there for you... are the people who hurt you again and again.

I'm not allowed to hang out with my friends or do anything by myself, but you do whatever you want and it's OK? How is that fair?

What’s the point in "trying" when it’s pointless... it’s obvious you don't care!!!

Do you even get me? Are you at least trying to understand me? If you are not going to even put an effort into trying to get me, why waste the time? I deserve better.

Why did you do this to me? You told me that you loved me or was that a lie too? You told my friends that you loved me! Did you lie to them?

Even though you broke my heart, even though you put those tears on my face, in my heart you will always have a special place.

Feeling empty and thinking negative and knowing that something bad is going to happen.

I blame Disney for giving women such high expectations on men being sweet, kind, and romantic... cause clearly those men don't exist.

Every time I find out about something sneaky you've done, it chips away at the feeling of how amazing I thought you were.

Is quietly crying to herself, telling herself everything is alright, even though she knows it isn’t.

A very small degree of betrayal is sufficient to cause the death of trust...

I am just full of anger held under by a thin line that is slowly wearing down and I don't know how much longer until I explode.

I just wants to curl up in bed and set the music as high as it will go to drown out the rest of the world.

I wouldn't change a single thing in my past. Each of those events made me who I am today. And even though I'm far from perfect, I rather like me today.

I am just tired of being tired because being tired is tiring.

Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you up, not bring you down.

When someone breaks your heart, you lean on your friends. What if your only REAL friend is the very person who broke your heart? Who do you turn to then?

I'm not perfect, but I'm always me. Love me for who I am, not who you want me to be.

When I look back on my life, I see pain, mistakes, heartache, and sadness. When I look in the mirror, I see strength, learned lessons, and pride in myself.

If you have influenced just one person in your life, then it was worth it.

I believe that sometimes you have to go through what you go through in life to get to where your supposed to be.

I keep telling myself, there's one honest heart that I can believe in, two loving arms that won't ever let me go, one good man that I can count on.

I will not walk behind you, you may not lead. I'll not walk in front of you, you may not follow. I will walk beside and hold your hand, for I am your friend.

People don't cry because they are weak. They cry because they have been strong for too long.

If you want me in your life, then treat me like it. Don't make me an option. Make me a priority. If not, I will walk away.

Trust is something you have to earn and from my past experience, it will take a lot.

Never let things get you down so far you feel like you can't get back up. Keep pushing forward. You are so worth it.

God, please wipe my tears and carry me for a while for I just cannot keep getting hurt like this. I deserve so much better.

Sometimes it's not what is said... It's what's not...

Tonight's weather forecast: Dark and rainy.

To all those people in my life that made me who I am today, I say thank you. And to all those that can’t handle the person I am today, I say SCREW YOU!

Sharing DNA doesn't make you family — it just makes you related.

No one knows what goes on in my mind, which is probably a good thing!

You ask me to do something, I drop all my plans to do something for you, but when I ask you for one little favor, I get sorry I'm busy or I just get ignored.

I thought family was supposed to help you when you’re down, not put you down more.

Note to Self: Fake a smile and pretend you are okay, it's easier than explaining why you are crying.

You say I’ve changed, but you’re the one that forced my hand to play your game.

Shut down mode initiated.

relationships
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About the Creator

josh napper

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