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What to Do After the Breakup

We've all been there.

I understand that some of you reading this will be young and possibly have little to no experience in relationships. I, too, am a young woman but I have learned a lot from my past relationships.

By all means, I am no dating expert but I am writing this so that you don't feel so heartbroken over that stupid guy or gal. These are some things that I realized after being involved in a number of failed relationships.

Some relationships seem like they will last forever because they make you feel so magical inside. On an optimistic approach, maybe you will meet someone very young, get married and live happily ever after. However, fairytale endings don't always happen.

First of all, I would just like to say that it is perfectly normal to be upset, feel disappointed and even to cry about a breakup. Do not hold feelings of sadness and resentment inside, it's really not good for your emotional wellbeing. As long as you limit the amount of grieving, and don't put yourself into a pit of depression. 

Get your emotions out the best way you know how; you can scream into your pillow or karate kick the stuffed animal they gave you for Valentine's Day. Whatever floats your boat. Personally, crying and journaling (yes, at the same time) helped me get through these tough times.

Then you've got to pull yourself together! Take your mind off of things by getting a new hobby, focussing on school or hanging out with friends. Push yourself to move forward with your life. I do not mean that you're supposed to forget all of the memories, but remember that you cannot move forward if you're still looking back.

It may be helpful to talk about your breakup. Be honest and open with the people who care about you, let them know how you're feeling at the moment, they will more than likely understand and give you words of encouragement. 

Doing this probably will not make you forget completely about the situation, but at least you are still out there living your life instead of moping around.

This is also a good time to reflect on why your relationship did not work out. Be honest with yourself, review the things you could have done better, such as communicating or being open-minded. Think about why things happened the way they did. Was your partner fair with his/ her reasoning most of the time? Maybe the breakup wasn't your fault. Reflecting on the situation can help you learn and grow from your mistakes if any. 

Life is too short to stress over the presence or absence of someone in your life. You cannot let someone take away your happiness, you have to move onto bigger and better things. Of course, it will take time to get over that special someone, but I believe in you Vocal reader!

The truth is that life is about chapters, this chapter in your life has ended. Turn the page and don't look back. You may think that you will never find someone to make you feel as wonderful as they once did, or that no one has better qualities than this person. 

Trust me there is someone out there just for you, and you're going to meet them. Maybe you will meet them tomorrow, or in five years but they will surpass your expectations of what you imagined love could feel like. 

In a way, this breakup had to happen, in order for real love to come into your life. Everything happens for a reason. The sun will rise and we will try again. Pick yourself up and keep moving even if it's difficult at first, the world is not over, things will definitely get better.  

With love and optimism. 

-Quyaisha

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