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What To Expect When Planning Your Same Sex Wedding

Some people aren't as cool about it as others.

First, let me start by saying that I would, of course, ordinarily just call it a wedding, but I had to make the distinction because having been a bridesmaid plenty of times, I know straight couples just don't hear this stuff. 

When planning a same-sex wedding, you should be excited, but you should also be aware that some people don't quite know how to handle dealing with a gay couple, sometimes because they have never done it before and sometimes because they are just total jerks. These things might not happen to you when you are planning your wedding, but they might and I just want to give anyone a heads up as to the kind of ridiculousness that you might encounter.

Expect people to STILL call it a civil partnership.

Despite the fact that gay marriage is perfectly legitimate and legal and has been for quite some time, some people still call it a civil partnership. My photographer actually did this whilst I was on the phone to him, he corrected himself, but I wasn't happy. He almost lost the job because of it, but luckily for him, my wife is a little more forgiving than I am. 

Expect people to assume it's a double wedding.

I mean, do they still even do double weddings? My (now) wife and I got asked this twice whilst we were planning our wedding, one time at a wedding fair! We said no, and explained that we were getting married to each other but had to walk away as the woman got really uncomfortable with us. Don't be in the wedding business if you're not happy to do same-sex weddings! And don't give me any of that religious nonsense, it's just bad business to turn away customers!

Expect people to tell you to go to a gay wedding fair or specialist.

If you want to do this then that's cool, but the point is you shouldn't have to. Most places are pretty cool about same-sex weddings even if they don't specialise in them. In fact, MOST places treat same-sex weddings no differently to straight ones. Most good places do anyway. 

Expect people to assume a lot of things.

Looking for a suit for my father in law I was repeatedly asked what suit the groom wanted, it's an innocent question and I don't think it was meant with any malice, but it did get to me a little bit. A lot of people assumed that there would be rainbows at the wedding (there were none) I have nothing against them, and if you like rainbows then have the rainbowest wedding you can get! But they're not for me simply because I am a lesbian. People also assumed I would be wearing a suit, again, cool if you wear one, but I look like a fat kid playing dress up in a suit. 

Expect to feel left out.

I had the most incredible wedding imaginable, but during the planning process I did feel left out. Wedding fairs and merchandise were all catered to Mr. and Mrs., even the competitions to win your dream wedding all mentioned the "bride and groom" And this was quite isolating and it made us feel quite unwelcome, but the people we went with for everything we needed were completely cool and they made all of that negativity disappear.

I am not saying that these things will definitely happen when you are planning your wedding, I just think that you should hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Most people you speak to will be friendly and helpful and want to make your wedding day special, but there are always a few jerks out there, but don't let them spoil things for you. 

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