What Women Miss Most About Young Love

This topic is one very near and dear to my heart, particularly since I suffer from P.P.S., also known as Peter Pan Syndrome. You may think I'm pulling your chain with this self-diagnosis but I assure you I am not. P.P.S. is a serious semi-delusional condition that can lead to crying outbursts, unintentional resentment, and acts of inappropriate behavior both in public and private. If you can relate to two or more of the traits below, than you my friend may also be suffering from this common yet unexplored disease. It can affect everything from your wardrobe to your marriage, causing one to make bad decisions like crop tops over the age of 40 and withholding sex from you partner since he no longer writes you love letters. See what I mean, major problems. Here are a few of P.P.S.'s most common symptoms:

• You believe you may be the “one” that will stay young forever.
• You think you can still pass for a college student.
• You speak to youngsters like you totally get what they're saying.
• You still browse the Junior's section.
• You believe you can party all night and function the next day (as you did when you were 21).
• You want the romance, flirting, and head-over-heels love that lasts a lifetime.
• You think you partner should still have to work hard to get in your panties.
• You are a big fan of Botox.

Like I said, delusional. However, I am not here to talk about me and my personal hang-ups, because when do I ever do that? Ha! We are here to focus on the P.P.S of coupledom. The point in every relationship where you stare at your spouse and ask, “who the hell is this old guy and what did he do with my hot spontaneous boyfriend?” You think back to those first dates, weeks, and months when he couldn't get enough of your kisses, lived for impulsive adventures, and romance was offered not requested. Your attraction to him was practically insatiable. Not just his looks and young hot bod, but the way he looked at you like he could eat you. Now, just a few years later, of course he is still hot, but it's a different kind of hot. Like in a "giant snoring man-baby but great father who is really comfortable with himself and his smell" kind of way. With that said, I am in NO way implying that I am some sort of miracle who didn’t change over 9 years because I sure as hell did! Yes, due to carrying a child, my body doesn’t look the same as it once did therefore I may not dress up in sexy lingerie and 6-inch heels as often, or at all. Sure, due to sleepless nights, I sometimes find myself way bitchier than normal (more often too) and obviously, due to both of these combined, my sex drive can sometimes be non-existent, but at least I TRY. I take the time to try and remember what it felt like to want this man more than my next breath. When I see my husband laying around on a Friday night, barely able to keep his eyes open and preparing me for a gas-tastic night, I wonder if he remembers the last time he brought me flowers, planned a night out, or lit a candle and popped a cork. I don't even really like that stuff, but still, it's the point. Unfortunately, as time passes and we grow older we become more comfortable with ourselves and our partners that we naturally forget how things used to be, how WE used to be. Of course, nothing can take the place of the lives we have now, the experience, the memories, and our beautiful families, but oh how glorious would it be to have that young love back for just one more day.

He always wanted to spend time with you.

Now it’s either family functions, PG rated movies, or a separate night out with friends and while these are all fun and memorable times, women miss being wanted. Not just sexually but as a human too. My husband, then boyfriend, couldn't wait to see me after work, hear about my day, and take me to dinner. He loved to spend time with me and only me. Granted having two young kids has much to do with the lack of our quality time nowadays, but just the idea or suggestion from him would make a lady swoon. It seems the only alone time he truly desires is when I am naked or asleep in our bed.

He was spontaneous.

Everything today is SO planned from sports and school to parties and friends, my calendar looks like a sharpie threw up on it. To top it off, 99% of those plans are mostly made by me (the woman), leaving us little time to be spontaneous even if we wanted. Gone are the days of last minute adventures and spontaneous sexcapades, we now live in a time full of prompt arrivals and scheduled love-making.

He smelled less.

At first his random smells were just that, random and tolerable, but now you realize just how much he must have been holding them in, because holy hell, with marriage and years he has transformed into a gas producing machine. Not to mention the time he spends on the toilet. I can't recall him needing an hour on the toilet when we dated, even during sickness, but now I find myself having to text him while he's in there just to make sure he is alive. I mean I bought the guy Poo-pourri as part of his birthday gift, now that is some sexy shit right there.

Random Acts of Romance

Man, do I miss the sweet cards and texts, flowers, and words we shared when we first met. Coming home to surprise dinners or waiting outside my office door to take me home. How about the endless "I miss you and I love you's" or the 5 kisses it took just to get out the door. Sure, now I get birthday and anniversary presents which I still cherish, but aside from that the last surprise I got was a new camping chair and wireless ear phones. Like I said, totally appreciated and needed, but so NOT romantic. And yes picking up milk, putting out the garbage, and changing all the batteries is helpful, but why can't I have both? The love notes and the milk? The flowers and the batteries? I know I sound like a nagging wife, and maybe I am, but the short text asking me for some booty later while I'm home trying not to kill our two kids, isn't exactly the love letter I'm looking for. Romeo is not your nickname.

He cared more about his health.

I used to admire how hard he worked out and I 100% cannot say anything about losing motivation, but now are the years where we should be taking care of ourselves. Watching him drink a few beers and eat all of my 6-year-olds school snacks is enough to drive me mad. I have never seen a grown man eat goldfish like my husband, I swear I have to hide the dinosaur egg oatmeal! We used to gym together, hike together, bike together and now it's a miracle if I can get him to eat a salad more than once a week. To top it off the lucky duck still looks fantastic and could even be getting better looking with age. I mean talk about throwing salt in a wound, now I get to watch you eat crap and barely workout yet still look terrific. Wonderful, just wonderful!

He wasn't so set in his ways.

Although he always knew what he liked and wanted, he was still willing to try new things. Now, if the beer is too warm or the toilet paper isn’t 2-ply, he is perturbed. I used to be able to persuade him into going new places or staying up all hours of the night but now if I even try to watch TV in bed, I get in trouble for disturbing his 8 hours of sleep. Jeez, sorry Dad.

But I do love you.

With all this said, I thank my husband for always allowing me to air our dirty laundry. For allowing me to do what I love and write about marriage, sex, parenting, and other super inappropriate crap. Seriously, for a man to support his wife while she writes about the five best sex positions in the shower, must be true love. I also find the way you father extremely sexy. You are kind and silly, tough but a softy and our children adore you. This is something I never knew would turn me on, but let me tell you, it does. I should also thank your adult sperm, because it made two of the most beautiful children the world as ever seen, for that I will love you always. Lastly, how can I forget the patience you have and had with me during both pregnancies and births, surgeries and illnesses, weight gains, and losses. Where some men would lose their shit, you helped me, encouraged me, and never once asked for a divorce, ha! Seriously, sometimes I say to myself, God damn I would divorce me if I could. So even though I miss the man you once were I also love the man you are now. Just read my article and follow the instructions and you'll be PERFECT!