When Did Courting Start Requiring Nudes?

I'm a single, heterosexual woman in her mid-50's looking for a love relationship to get me into my next decade, if not longer.

Sorry, but I didn’t get the memo. I might have been tethered in a marriage or not offering my wares in the marketplace but it was eye opening to get the first request, to say the least.

It happened while I was navigating the online dating maze. Emails go back and forth and if the stars align, phone numbers are exchanged for texting. A big step forward. I perk up.

My heart always skips a beat at this stage. He wants to get to know me. Maybe I’ll be dating for Valentine’s Day next year and I daydream about the chocolates and a possible couple’s massage.

In short order the texts move from vital statistics: what do you do for a living, how many children do you have or claim, how old are they and where do they reside, onward to some harmless flirtation.

I won’t tell you that I don’t enjoy this kind of banter provided that it’s witty and isn’t crass and doesn’t describe any genitalia. Why, oh why do so many fellows quickly move to requesting pics of my treasures only recently seen by my gynecologist?

Ok, it’s been a bit of a draught.

Who forgot to educate our men that we really don’t want to see their assets before we forge an emotional bond? Why do they think that will make us all aflutter and count the hours before we meet? Do they assume that we are wired as they are and that the images will start a physical reaction south of the border that will make us more eager to get between the sheets?

Sorry to say but the overwhelming majority of ladies don’t crave to see a man naked before knowing what makes him tick.

I’m not the only gal with this experience and my generous nature longs to tell them that they might have had a chance before they digressed. The train comes to a screeching halt. It has nothing to do with my body image or what angle the photo is take from. It becomes clear what the end game intention is. We might have gotten busy had things moved forward organically.

Unfortunately, the odds are against that coming to fruition before he listens to my dreams, fears and life purpose.

That's the honest truth.

But enough about me.

My heart just grieves for my younger sisters, especially the ‘tweens and teens who fall into this so early. You didn’t even get a chance to see all of the different and creative ways of attracting the attention that we all so desperately crave.

It lights up the place in our brains that wants to be risqué. A totally permissible activity but flirting has become revealing our bodies to folks who haven’t sufficiently earned the viewing rights. Again, I’m up for sexual innuendo and actually enjoy it but I draw a line in the sand farther up on the beach.

I wonder if there’s just a twinge of regret after getting the pat on head and high five reaction we were seeking. What’s left to unveil?

I’d love to be the catalyst for a social movement.

It would have us all standing together, linked elbow to elbow and saying “Wait a minute now. We’re not going to be doing this anymore. It stops today. Consider yourself lucky that our paths crossed and treasure the gifts we've given, as they’ve been strategically offered. But we’ve all gotten together and given this a lot of collective thought.

It just might be something we choose to share in a future committed relationship. Maybe.”

Find me if you’d like to join the movement. There’s room for all of us.