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I think, see, and hear my husband in every single thing that I do. Every love song that I hear. Even the songs where the man is sorry because he messed up with the woman that he loves. Every time I talk to guys at work about comic books and nerd speak, I bring up the Punisher and Loki which are the characters that he likes. When a co-worker is talking about his wife and kid he has on the way, I think about my husband and how I wish he was here with me and how I wonder how he would act and feel if we were having a baby. When he talks about his mother-in-law and his family I think about my own. When I watch movies where the couples face prison or a loved one's death I think of him. When I see a marriage falling apart, a renewal of vows, a marriage, a proposal, or an anniversary I think of him and how we should be doing these things and spending this time together.
I saw a family at the mall the other day and the dad was so busy on his phone and leaving the mom to deal with getting the youngest sons coat on and only saying, "Putting it on or I am leaving" and the little boy crying out, "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" and I thought two things first when my husband comes home he better not think he's going to be on that phone texting or using social media instead of spending time with his family. The second was that if that was our family he would not be walking out of the door looking at Facebook instead of waiting for our son and that he would be handling the situation instead of just standing there and expecting me to handle it and quite honestly she was doing nothing and if I did that he would be telling me to take care of it, if he was not taking care of it, but he would be helping him out on his jacket and putting it on the right way not being on his phone. At least I hope after all this time we have to spend apart he would put the phone down. There was a time he should have been with me and our kids, but he was on phone. We have spent some much time apart that I think about how those situations would be different if he was here.
I am thinking of him now as I write this article, I think about him while I watch my kids play video games and they talk about when their fad was home and they would play the Xbox with him. I think about him when I am cooking dinner. I think about him in December because it is when we first met, November because it is when he proposed, October because it is our wedding anniversary, February because it is when we had our first date, and many other months.
I think about him when I am at work, when I am at home, when I am asleep, when I am awake. When I am watching Harry Potter or The Walking Dead. I think about him all the time. He would never guess how much I think about him. I wonder if he thinks about me at all let alone as much as I think about him. He is in my thoughts day and night, all day long. As I end this I wonder if he will like this when he reads this if he ever does. If he is reading this right now... I am thinking of you!