When He Says He’s Not Ready for a Relationship

A Guide for Better Understanding When He’s Just Not Ready and How to Respond

Arlee Maxwell

Ladies, I’m willing to bet we have all heard at some point in time from a guy these 6 words of “I’m not ready for a relationship.” Often words us women don’t look forward to or know how to take when they say it. And very often it’s followed up with some type of explanation of why he wants to be single or isn’t ready yet.

When hearing this we have a choice on how to respond and many women usually have a response that hurts them, rather than helps them in this situation. Emotions run high and you feel hurt when the person you want to be with isn’t sure about you or more specifically they’re not sure they want to be in a relationship right now. It can certainly stir up many negative responses when you felt you had a strong connection with this person, I get it. Sometimes our first initial reaction is to tell them, “Screw you,” “Well I’m better without you,” “I didn’t need you anyways,” or for some extreme, cuss them out, get with a best friend, or go out partying trying to make them miss you. Well stop right there, breathe, take a nap, or eat a tub of ice cream before you go all out in your emotions. It’s sucks and we all have temptation to get upset and angry, but I’m assuming you’re reading this because you care about this guy despite his confusion. So take a step back and realize he’s not a bad guy for it.

As women we react in such a way on impulse because we tend to think it’s all about us. Maybe it is but I’m willing to bet it’s not. If you care about this guy you should respect the time he needs for himself. And if you want the best possible shot with him, keep in mind your reaction to his needs will have a lot to do with it. Here are a few tips on how to respond when he decides he not ready for a relationship and needs time for himself.

First Thing's First

Let him know that he’s right about needing time alone because he’s not ready.

He’s not sure what he wants and trying to make him more sure about you isn’t going to make him more sure, all it’s going to do is make him feel like he’s being sold on something. With you letting him know you’re okay with him going off being alone to figure out what he wants is making him feel okay for him to go be on his own.

Second Part of Your Message

I want your happiness more than anything in this world.

This response in your message comes from a loving, sweet, genuine, and pure place in your heart. So now he see’s this unbelievably loving women in front of him he’s about to lose.

Third Part of Your Message

I hope I’m still here when you’re ready.

This notion introduces that seed of doubt allowing him to realize he may not get everything he wants by the choice he’s making but that you’re willing to accept him when he’s ready if you’re still around.

Last but Not Least

I want someone who is 100% in with me and knows what they want. I deserve that. You deserve this time for yourself more than anything, I'm excited for you and only wish the best for you because I love you.

This shows your value, worth and respect for yourself and that alone is powerful. 

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