When You Know

You know when you know, you know?

In modern society, that phrase probably does more damage than good to people. It gives false hope and makes people see things they want to in possible partners, not what is real.

The truth is, it is not wrong but people should stop putting so much stock in its words; too much belief can be harmful.

Stop looking to know and just be happy when you do know.

As I write this I find out that a friend of mine who went through hell in her life — lost loved ones, had been trapped in abusive relationships — is now getting married to her girlfriend. It gives you faith in the world.

Another friend of mine for nearly a year has been with a girl from Atlanta. He is from the midlands in England. Christmas 2018, he flew out to spend Christmas with her in Atlanta. He proposed.

The truth of finding "the one" is not as complex as the Universe would have you think. Both of these people I have mentioned have not had it easy. They have been through hell to find their other half, but because of this you know they will never let them go, never let them face the world alone.

Love is simple; scary. It is ever fear you can have, worrying about the other person's safety and happiness. It’s an emotional rollercoaster but the most zen existence you'll find yourself in.

You can lay awake at night every night of your life, feeling hollow and as though you are missing something, go through days with a numb, small, but noticeable feeling of hollowness in your chest. You have it with you most of your life. It follows you in everything you do. That emptiness is something you, yourself, cannot change.

But you know you have found "the one" when one day you realise that hollowness is gone. The empty space beneath your heart that once felt like a void of inexistence is now no more. Something has filled the void and though life will always be hard, it is not quite as hard. When they are not there, things seem a lot harder because it is almost like whatever is filling that void is being strained or stretched.

Some people think that it is like in the movies. That is, of course, wrong in so many ways but not entirely. Things are difficult, and often there are obstacles that need fighting — love is like Hollywood, not Disney. Love is hard; there will be arguments, tears, fear, hopes that feel hopeless, but love is not about simply being in sheer bliss 24/7. It is about a union; two souls as one fighting off every negative thing that comes their way.

To put it simply, your true love or soulmate is your comrade on the battlefield, your advisor in life, your teddy to hug when things get tough, your best friend, your rock, your favourite pillow at night, the first person you want to talk to, your last thought at night. They capture your soul, and even the tiniest little thing matters.

Love with that special person can be the easiest and hardest thing you will ever do. Everything about it is contradictory. It is agony and blissful at the same time, heaven and hell. They are a perfect imperfection to you.

While so many people out there spend time looking for someone that fits their ideal description of their partner or look for a relationship because of social acceptances, many people miss out on the aching tantric burn because they're so focused on the other niggling little factors of life and modern society conforming love.

So, do you know when you know, you know? Of course.

Everyone has their own time line. Just be patient and wait for you paths to cross. It could be tomorrow, next week, a month from now, a year from now. But give it time. It'll hit you like a tonne of bricks and then you'll know and you'll end up like me, looking back on your impatience and laughing.