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Where Are All the Black Nerdy Girls?

'We can’t find other black nerdy girls...'

By Yarn Goddess CosplayPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
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Maxine from Batman Beyond

In the wake of Childish Gambino AKA Danny Glover’s latest song, “This Is America,” the black community rejoiced in seeing the harsh truth of American violence and discrimination against African Americans. “This Is America” covered the Charleston shooting, police brutality, the promotion of guns and violence in rap music and so, so much more. It was truly a “woke” video for anyone who’s aware of America’s love affair with guns, racism, and violence.

But then a picture was released of Glover’s family. He, his wife, and kids taking a stroll down a sidewalk. Nothing out of the ordinary there but wait, his kids are biracial. His wife is white. Cue the black community erupting in a fury of, “He couldn’t find a black woman?” For anyone who is unfamiliar with Glover’s character—he is weird. Weird in the sense that he likes anime. Weird in the sense that he isn’t your atypical black man and doesn’t fit “the norm.” Weird in the sense that he’s a nerd. A geek. Maybe even a cosplayer, who knows? But his interracial family paved the way for other black nerds to express their feelings of, “Black women don’t want us” and “We can’t find other black nerdy girls.”

Now, I can’t explain why Glover is with a white woman or his relationship with the black community or his dating history with black women. I don’t have the time and neither do you. What I will discuss is this idea that dating a white person somehow betrays your race. I will talk about how black nerdy men can’t seem to find black nerdy girls. I will talk about how we have a lot of bullshit to sort through and I will try to get through some of it in this piece.

Where are all the Black Nerdy Girls?

First off, dating a white person—be it man or female—doesn’t betray your race. I get the outrage, though. The relationship between black and white people in America is a rocky one, to say the least. Black men have been known to say that they don’t like black women because we’re too loud or aggressive (ironic, right?). It’s perfectly fine to date a white women, but don’t put down black women in the process. That’s where you’ve effed up. I, too, fell for a white man and I was the only person in my family to bring a non-black man home and my parents had questions. Why did I fall for him? We both played World of Warcraft, we were both in college, he lived 20 minutes away, the logistics just worked out. Was I actively trying to find a white man to date? No, my previous boyfriends had either been black or Italian and we didn’t work. Plain and simple.

As I became more acquainted with the cosplay community, I started to notice this “prove yourself” attitude from fellow gamers. Being frequently questioned on how much I knew about WoW or if I “really played DnD” got exhausting REAL quick. I was questioned by both black and white men but more quickly written off as “invalid” by black men. We—women—know how it goes. We put on our cosplays, attend the convention for a weekend, and spend a solid 40 percent of it proving our nerdiness to our fellow “men.” This is especially true for black women. We’re not recognized in mass media as your average black-nerdy girl. We’re here watching an obnoxious amount of anime, reading manga, and working all night on our cosplays 'cause we THOUGHT we had enough time (I’m projecting a little... MomoCon is too damn soon…)

But I digress. It’s not anyone’s fault for rejecting black-nerdy girls or being “too weird” of a black nerdy guy so that black women reject you. It’s a matter of finding who’s into the same stuff you’re into and rolling with it. If it happens to be a white person then so be it. Educate your white partner in the ways of black-nerdy life. If you found yourself a black nerdy girl to match your black nerdy boy then awesome! Prosper together in your black geekdom. But enough with this, “You’re the reason why we can’t have nice things” bullshit mentality. Stop assuming black nerdy women don’t exist and we're all just here to show off boobs and ass. Stop getting mad when “he falls for a white woman.” Look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I being a dick to black woman?” Just throw on some anime and approach us respectfully. We exist. We’re just busy being nerds.

A good source and community for black girl nerds is Black Girl Nerds. You can find them on Twitter, Facebook, and their website. Join the conversation about your experience as a #blackgirlnerd #bgn.

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About the Creator

Yarn Goddess Cosplay

2018 is the year I decided to throw my voice in the mix and talk about cosplay community issues such as race, cosplay politics and overall share my experience and observations as a African-Caribbean Cosplayer.

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