Where Do We Go Next?

Where do we go next?

Things end. Everything ends at some point or another. It's how things end that affects us.

Do you remember Lily?

Well, I'm trying to forget all about her. As sad as it is for me, it's needed. It's so desperately needed and sadly, it's been a long time coming. I won't go into detail because I'd be wasting my time, it's done, over, finished and I'm currently in the process of forgetting that part of my life.

So I'm here to talk about where we go next after things end. Where am I going now that this phase of my life is over?

Honestly, I don't know. I really don't and I kinda like it that way. I like not knowing where I'm going to be in a 365 days time. I like knowing that it's my chance now to find someone truly special and truly right for me, it's my chance to see the world, it's my chance to go out into the world and make it mine.

It's a very strange feeling I'll admit. I'm only 22 years old, I've got my whole life ahead of me. Part of me feels like I've got the right path mapped out in my head and the other part of me feels so lost.

Does anyone else feel lost when something ends? When a chapter of your life finally ends and that's it, you have to look for something else or someone else, why is there an overwhelming feeling of confusion?

Like I should know what I'm doing but I don't.

That's how I feel at the moment. And the lack of writing has shown that. Ever since One Take, it's been a whirlwind.

Lies, loss, love, everything. In the past two weeks, I've experienced so many lies that I don't know what is real anymore.

I know this started off differently, but I'm using this as a personal expression as well as something for you all to read too.

I feel hurt, guys. In all honesty, I'm so hurt.

Love (Part 2) was my final curtain call for Lily and I. I figured it would change things. I was wrong and I accept that. I got it wrong and I fucked up, but the reason we ended wasn't my fault. It wasn't me for once and I'm trying to take that in every day because I know I did what I could. I tried my best and I did nothing but give my love and it wasn't enough.

I can't change that.

You can't change that.

No one can change things in the past.

Not even myself.

So, where am I going next?

I'm going to jump head first into my work and my writing. I'm going to rekindle something special. I'm going to work on myself and I'm going to work on loving myself more.

That's where I'm going next, I'm going to explore the world.

Where are you going next?

Where ever it is, just know, that there are so many people going through the exact same thing. So many people are looking for that next step, for that sign to tell us where to go.

Maybe that's the problem. We don't push ourselves. We wait for the universe to decide for us and sometimes the universe just isn't listening to us.

We need to make the world ours. We need to make sure that we can handle the world and all the pain that is in it. I can't stress enough, look out for each other.

I'm sorry that this isn't the most cheerful piece. It's a wise piece though.

Live your lives.