Whole (Ch.1 Pt. 2)

*following Whole - chapter 1 - part 1*

I didn't know how long I had been daydreaming, when a man came and sat on the bench opposite to mine. I glanced, a very quick look, just enough time to absorb every feature of his gorgeous face, before I felt my cheeks turn red, forcing me to stare at the floor. I was not looking at him, but I could definitively feel him undressing me with his eyes, sending a shiver down my spine, like a wave shattering every wall I had been building throughout the years. At this moment, I felt naked as never before, despite all the clothes I was wearing, and it totally unsettled me.

I had never felt this; never in my life had a man made me feel so vulnerable, so exposed, with no protection at all. It was not only the fact that he was starring at me that unsettled me. It was his whole presence and the intensity of his entire being. Who the hell are you ?

For some minuts, I remained quiet, avoiding eye contact. He didn't say a word either, until his strong voice broke my thoughts.

''Good morning.”

My heart stopped and my mind froze. I had promised myself I would never allow someone to enter my life again. Never again. I had not healed yet, and it was too hard for me to believe anything coming from the mouth of a man. Not a single word carried truth, and I knew it. But THAT voice. Come on girl, he is saying hi. You better reply with a large smile. I internally shook my head at my own thoughts.

“Morning.”

“It's a beautiful day, isn't it?'' I looked at him.

Weather conversation, basic, boring subject when you don't know what to say. Next please! I have no time for small talks.

“Sorry, I'm so bad at this... You are quite intimidating.”

I giggled and sighed; never in my life someone had told me I was intimidating. He was definitively a Don Juan and I had had enough of this kind of men in my life.

“Me? Intimidating? It's a first; you might need some glasses.”

“And funny, I like you already.”

What the hell is he doing/ I need to get out of here.

His voice was soft and deep, a very masculine and virile feature I particularly loved in men. Most of the time, it came with a perfect manly body and the obvious arrogance.

“Thank you, and yes it is a beautiful day. That's why I'm here actually, to get some needed sun vitamins.”

Yeah, it's a fucking beautiful day… but you are even more fucking handsome.

“Something tells me you aren't good at small talks; am I wrong?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, you don't seem to be the kind of girl one approaches with a conversation about weather or how green the grass is around here.”

“No, it's really not my kind of conversation.”

I had never felt this way with someone before; something inside of me was boiling, and my heartbeats were faster than when I worked out. Even small talks became interesting with him. Yet again, it was part of the seduction process of this kind of men, a trap I had promised myself not to fall into. If you took the risk to let this kind of men enter your life, you could be assured that you would get hurt sooner or later.

I took a little moment to look at him. His blue eyes were so clear and vivid, like two magnets attracting me to them. He was fucking gorgeous, a beauty I had rarely seen. It was not only his face or his more that perfectly white teeth, it was his presence. There was something different in the way he looked at me, I could see a deeper fire ready to burst into flames, but also something I'd never seen before, something different I couldn't qualify—yet. It left me feeling unconfortable, but at the same time, it grabbed my attention. Somehow along the way of my own life, I had been blessed with some life lessons and had become wiser. I knew better now, I knew not to trust people, I knew to take care of myself, and most importantly, I knew exactly how to close my heart to love. I stared at him some more. His eyes appeared to be a warm place to fall into. I wanted to get lost in them. My throat was dry, and I didn't know anymore whether it was the sun, the coffee or me blushing, but I could feel my face burning. Girl, come on, pull yourself together. He is totally out of your league.

''I've to go'' was the only thing I could say before I stood up and started to walk away. It was the only way I could escape the spell of this kind of men.

“Wait! It's … it's a bit cliché, don't you think? I mean, you don't need to pretend you have to be somewhere else just to go away from me. I know we don't know each other but, maybe we can talk. You might even be surprised of the conversation I can have, what do you think ? You don't need to go away. I know what you are thinking, that you are just another girl in the list, right? But, even if it was true in a way, you look so… fragile. I guess you don't trust people much. I don't either. What I want, is just to have a little chat. That's all. I feel like there is so much inside you, and I want to know what is it.”

I looked at him, mouth opened and an expression of surprise all over my face. I expected everything but this from him. He understood me more than I did myself, and within minuts, he had figured out my biggest downfall—trust. Something strange happened inside me, a feeling of well-being, and for the first time in years, I didn't have this knot in the stomach I was so used to when talking with a man. I saw him slightly smiling, probably aware of the effect he had on me.

*to be continued*