Why Am I Afraid to Love?

I honestly feel that it really comes down to fear and our ability to cope with loss. When you love someone, you're letting them into your lives. They become a part of your everyday. This person defines a whole aspect of you, albeit does not define you entirely. If the feeling is real, it won't really matter how long you've been with this person, the idea of losing them scares you.

We're so afraid to have feelings for someone else because when that happens, you want them in your life and you wouldn't have it any other way. We're so afraid to be vulnerable and open ourselves to these things because if they left one day, life would be unbearable.

However, I think we all know deep down that regardless of whatever life tragedy that might come our way, it WILL eventually pass and that it will eventually be OKAY. Yes, it might take a long time (or it might not), but we know we will eventually get there. So, if we know we're going to be okay, why is it so scary to be sad and miserable for awhile? We also know that we don't NEED someone in our life to be happy. Our happiness should not be defined by someone else's existence.

Therefore, why are we constantly in battle between loving someone and avoiding this feeling because of fear? Why are we unable to open ourselves up to the idea that we could have a great love, but also a big heartbreak? It's because it's scary. Nobody wants to feel shit. When you really think about it, we fear not that this person is not in our life anymore (although it would suck), but we fear the full range of emotions we feel because nobody wants to feel shit.

If you have a job, you should know by now that you could one day lose it for whatever reason. It isn't a 100 percent guaranteed and you might be afraid of losing this job one day. But do you find yourself not getting a job because you're afraid? It's one of those things in life that you just do. Loving someone should be the same. I know it's more complex than that, but the point is, that we should not let fear narrate our vulnerability and ability to open ourselves to loving someone because it is a human thing to do, and everyone should love and be open to being loved.

Worst Case Scenario

If shit hits the fan, do not panic. You're gonna be sad for awhile and THAT'S OKAY. It's important to realise and remember that you are never alone. If you no longer have a significant other in your life and are experiencing heartbreak, you still have family, and if not, you have friends you can lean on. There is always someone out there you can talk to or even make new connections with. It is not the end of the world, and it never will be because of someone else.

Yes, having a life companion may not be something we NEED, but it is something that we want. In my opinion, should we be given the opportunity to love, I say take it and embrace it with all your might. You never know if it will work out with someone unless you try. It can be very daunting, but it is important to go into a relationship acknowledging that people change, shit happens, and that's okay. 100 percent of the time, you will be okay—eventually. It'll just suck for a bit, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

You know what they say, it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.