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Firstly, why do we lie?
To selfishly make ourselves feel better by disguising the truth for one of the following (but not limited to):
To "protect" someone, to excuse our shortcomings, to save face, to conceal self disclosure, to create a false sense of pride, to avoid conflict, to avoid confrontation or to avoid rejection.
But why we lie and what we do when we lie can be boiled down to: to manipulate someone’s perception of us, to disguise or conceal the truth and to depict a picture of us that we think someone wants to see.
Where do lies derive from?
- Fear. A fear of; not fulfilling an expectation, not being able to reconcile difficult experiences, causing pain, causing distrust (ironically).
- The fanciful notion that our lie will remain undetected and that it will forever remain buried.
- Selfishness—self preservation—personal gain.
What are we trying to achieve by lying?
An attempt to please and not to disappoint others.
To convey falsified impressions.
In a selfish, yet cowardly fashion, we seek to hide the facts we omit to admit or display, whilst we tell ourselves that we are doing it for the person in mind or for the greater good.
We instruct ourselves to conceal the horrible truths which leads to us to intentionally manipulating the perceptions of others in order to live up to that "image." We worry what others will think of us because we are not satisfied with ourselves.
What do we actually gain when we lie?
A failure to accept reality.
Unsustainable comfort or pleasure, a finite existing ‘image’ we craved.
And a half bitten conscience.
When we lie, we fail to take accountability for our acts and omissions, we lessen our credibility and deprive ourselves from being honest and authentic. All for what, temporary pleasure.
We are in a rush to achieve the desired result without paying any mind to consequences.
When we do this, we fail to be truthful to ourselves and we fail to accept and own our truths.
Why is it that lies come by so much more fluent than the truth?
Funnily enough it is because we do not want to be seen or branded as liars.
Lies should be harder to tell because it requires great thought, planning and scheming, whereas the facts stare you in the face and should in theory, be easier to convey. We make a conscious decision to not deal with the issue at hand but to brush it under the carpet and then to repress it. By avoiding the situation it is felt that the issue isn’t there. And if the issue isn’t there then everything is okay, literally and morally.
Additionally, it may be believed by some that their version of events are the truth and see nothing wrong with their actions.
Why is it so hard to tell the truth?
We convince ourselves that telling a lie is "easier" or for the "greater good" as we are not prepared to submit ourselves and our self-guilt before a jury through fear of chastisement and criticism. Sometimes we find telling the truth difficult because we are still deceiving ourselves, we wish to conceal our embarrassment or through fear of hurting another. Sometimes we are unsure of how to convey the message because we anticipate that it will hurt others or simply assume that the receiver will not understand.