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Do you ever spend a lot of your time pining after someone or wondering when you'll meet the right person? Then that someone comes along and ticks most of your boxes, shows genuine interest and it's like your brain can't cope so you're natural response is to be afraid and run in the opposite direction? Safe to say if you're past 20-something I will put money on you feeling like this at least once in your life so far.
That then raises my question; why are so many of us afraid to let ourselves fall in love? If the opportunity presents itself and it feels good, we should just let it happen, right?
Wrong is the one word I can hear ringing in a lot of ears. Let's look at why.
How many of you have been romantically involved with an individual who has mentally or physically messed you up? Like they have really hurt you in either way?
There is nothing worse than knowing who you are and what you stand for, yet to lose sight of all of that and start that same journey to find yourself that you've been doing for the past 20-something years. It fucking sucks.
Hands up, who's been cheated on? Hands up, who didn't know about it until after the break up? You will learn in life that some people you cross paths with are just pieces of shit who simply cannot give an explanation or justification for their own selfish reasons and actions. They are just born that way.
Ever been with someone who’s betrayed you? Betrayed your trust and your loyalty? Kept secrets from you they shouldn't have? I have an ex that betrayed my trust, loyalty, integrity, everything. Secrets came out that explained all the mental abuse and neglectful behavior to me. If you've ever experienced betrayal then you know how painstakingly soul crushing it can be.
Fear of the unknown? Fear of not being good enough? Fear of vulnerability? Of being left? Of being hurt again? You aren't alone. EVERYONE struggles with this.
So, they're the cons. What are the pros? They're exactly the same.
Hurt, cheating, betrayal and fear teach us about what we don't want in a person. I don't know about you, but each time I've experienced these, I've come out the other side knowing a little bit more about what I do and don't want when the opportunity of letting someone new into my life comes along.
Normally in new relationships, fear keeps us focused on something that's happened to us in the past or not knowing what will happen in the future. That fear inside our body then ignites the worry of us getting hurt. You're allowed to feel shit. You're allowed to feel scared. Hurt and fear remind us that we are only human.
Cheating and betrayal kind of go hand in hand, don't they? Cheating in itself is a form of betrayal. If you've ever been betrayed it can in some messed up way bring out a better person in you. For me, it taught me not to be so emotionally vulnerable to people around you. At the end of the day the only certain person who will stand for you, is you!
My point is when you go through all of these emotions and feelings, it just shows you what you don't want or need and it makes you a stronger, more grounded person. You should be proud of that.
Look after yourself because it's your happiness that is the most important.
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