Why Being Bullied Sucks, but It's Okay

No one likes being bullied and it may even hurt your feelings to the point where you feel worthless or you start to believe your bully's words.

1. Why do some people bully?

According to stopbullying.gov, bullying is unwanted aggressive behavior that is inflicted towards someone. It’s seen in schools and in adulthood. Kids who bully or are bullied can have lasting problems later on in life according to the website. A bully might be stronger, taller, and more popular or have information on someone that could be considered harmful. Threats made towards someone, spreading vicious rumors, using physical force to harm someone or being verbally abusive are all considered bullying. Being bullied by an older sibling or even a parent can make a child a bully. How they are raised at home can also contribute to how they treat others. Girls and boys who are spoiled, taught no respect or empathy for others can often be bully’s.

2. Is bullying always bad?

No. Not all bullying is bad. Sometimes things like teasing, leaving someone out of a game, telling others not to be friends with someone or generally avoiding another are not all bad things. Girls and boys choose who they want to associate with. If we tell everyone they HAVE to accept someone then it's not really genuine. The children that are experiencing these things have to learn that others do not define them. They have to learn that being left out, or being teased doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them. Children cannot grow up being sensitive to everything. When they grow up and go into the job circuit not everyone is going to be their friend. In fact, they may encounter worse situations than those at school.

3. How to Deal with Bullies

Don’t. Bullies want you to fight back, fuel their conflict, and create more chaos. Now, while physical attacks and repeat abusive bullying should never be condoned, there are ways to defuse them. Firstly, remember that you’re stronger than you think. Just because someone is bigger than you, doesn’t mean you can’t get away. Don’t be afraid to tell your teacher or your parents. You can’t always avoid your bully, but you can make them think twice about touching you. If you’re dealing with a bully who likes to put his hands on you and push you down, make him regret it. Putting baby oil on your arms can make you slick. In other words, he won’t be able to hang onto you. Carry pepper spray (depending on your age); this is good if you’re in high school. If your bully starts going at you, warn him that if he doesn’t stop touching you that you will shoot pepper spray. If he doesn’t listen, shoot one short burst in his/her general direction. The smell alone will be enough to deter anyone. You don’t have to spray it directly in someone’s face unless you fear for your life.

Load a siren app onto your phone, one that plays a repeated siren pattern. Sometimes if bullies think they might get in trouble, they will flee the scene and leave you alone. Just keep your phone in your pocket and tap the screen to play the sound. Then you comment that someone must have called the cops.

A good practice for younger kids is when some other kid is hitting you fight back. All this nonsense about retaliation is for snowflakes. Someone comes and smacks me, I’m going to smack him twice as hard. Your goal is not to fight back unless you have no other choice.

A lot of help articles on bullying will tell you not to fight back. To instead tell a teacher, and while you should do that you also have to defend yourself. Severe cases of bullying can end up with someone severely injured or dead.

4. Cyber Bullying

People can be harsh but their words only carry merit if you believe them. Cyber bullies are the most cowardly people on the planet. They won’t address you face to face, but instead will shoot what they consider degrading comment’s at you.

Example: I’m a proud Trump supporter, and I listen to everyone’s opinions and respect everyone’s opinions. I don’t degrade people, I don’t call names and I don’t make people feel bad about their decisions or opinions. However, there is always someone who thinks that by degrading you they can get you to change your mind. This is simply not true. I had someone attack my personal appearance, my intelligence, and even my boyfriend’s looks. While hurtful, they mean absolutely nothing because they come from someone who thinks petty things like attacking my personal appearance is somehow going to make me change my mind or question myself. This person basically was trying to make me feel like I didn’t matter.

I suffer from PTSD from an abusive relationship and also have anxiety issues, but I didn’t let her words break my spirit. Her words carry no weight because I did not give them weight. I simply wished her well and God bless. She rejected my blessings and commented that she was more blessed than I was. I told her she could just pass the blessing on. You need to defend yourself, but in a smart way. Do it without adding to conflict. Say your peace and then move on.

A bully is only worth what currency you give him/her. This bully happened to be a woman.

Diverse opinions are what make our country great. The fact that we can sit down and have a conversation about what is going on in the world and our opinions on it makes us unique. Don’t be afraid to express your opinions. They matter so much.

Let’s make the world a better place and express our opinions without making the other person feel bad or bullied for having a different opinion than us.

God bless!

FACT:

Stop Bullying has a lot of material that is worth the read. Info on cyberbullying, prevention not listed in this article and more specifics for LGBTQ teens.