I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying: “Honesty is the best policy.” This statement is especially true when it comes to dating and relationships. How can you truly get to know someone if they’re not speaking the truth? The answer is: you can’t. If you're dating and looking to find real love and an equal partner, it's absolutely crucial to always tell the truth.
As a dating coach, my first and most important pieces of advice to all my clients are: always be honest, be yourself, and stay true to your values. The truth will come out in the end, and if you’re a liar it’s only going to make you look horrible. Maybe not right away, but eventually, the truth will come out. There’s nothing that will put the brakes on a potential relationship like being caught in a lie.
Sure, we all want to make ourselves look good in the beginning stages of a relationship. You can and should put your best foot forward. First impressions are everything. But by being clear and truthful about every little thing you say will make you look good, I promise!
1. It’s in the eyes.
If you want to be able to discern if the man you’re on a date with is telling the truth, look at his eyes. Can he look you in the eye when he’s talking? If he’s not maintaining eye contact then he’s probably lying. If he squirms nervously in his seat, he might be lying. Trust your intuition when it comes to whether or not he's being honest, your gut will never steer you in the wrong direction. If you think he may not be telling the truth or you've actually caught him lying, cut him off, now. You’ll save yourself a great amount of heartache down the road.
2. Don’t spill your guts.
Being honest does not mean telling him your complete life story on the first date. You don't need to bring up your childhood wounds and you should not be incessantly talking about your ex. You want to get to know someone slowly, so the more you feel you can trust him, the more you can open up. Men need a little mystery too, so don’t get diarrhea of the mouth.
3. It’s sexy.
There’s nothing sexier than a woman who is authentic and true to herself and her values. Even being slightly vulnerable is extremely attractive to men, as it shows your femininity. Never be afraid of telling him how you feel, so long as you're not proclaiming your undying love for him on the first or second date!
1. You won’t need to impress her.
So you’re the big cheese at work, eh? Look buddy, that’s great. But the right woman for you won’t be impressed by you telling her lies about how you “run that place.” One day you might want to take her to your company holiday party, what then? Keep in mind that a high value woman is looking for that special connection and a man that has integrity. No matter how many names you drop, she won’t be impressed, nor will it make her pants come off. (Ah shucks!)
2. You want her to know YOU.
If you’re always honest and forthright, the woman you’re dating will get to know the real you, and that’s what you want. While I realize that men strive for achievement as a way of making their mark the world, deep down what you all really desire is for someone to love and accept you for who you are, flaws and all. How can she really love you, if you’re not showing her your true self? I'm not suggesting that you tell her all your flaws up front, but if it comes up, it's your chance to be real. Being authentic is hella sexy!
3. It’s easier.
Smart women know that a single dude is chatting up so many women that he can barely keep them all straight. If you have the policy of always being honest, it is going to make your life way easier. Imagine not having to remember who you told what? Yeah, and you can sleep easier too.
To inquire about hiring me as your dating coach, send me an email [email protected]