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Everyone always talks about being single like it’s this horrible thing, but being single isn’t something that you should ever dread. It should be something that you welcome with arms open wide.
I know it can be scary to be alone especially when you’ve always felt like you needed someone else, but trust me when I say you need this time to be alone. You need to find yourself before you can find someone else. You need to figure out who you are. You need to figure out what you really want in your life. You need to love yourself before you can love someone else. And you need to learn that you don’t need anyone else to live. You need to find your independence. And you can’t find that with someone else. You have to choose yourself before you can choose someone else.
For the first time in a long time, I am perfectly okay with being single. I actually prefer it. I’m not opposed to a relationship, but I am not looking for actively seeking one. I am fine doing my own thing. I remember that for so long I wanted to be in a relationship, but it was just because I had never been in one and everyone else had. I wanted to be in a relationship for the status and so I wasn’t single. I was lonely and I didn’t know who I was.
“Love when you are ready, not when you are lonely.”
Because when you try to find everything that you need to feel fulfilled within someone else, you’ll feel lost without them. You'll feel like you can’t live without them. You won’t know how to be independent from them. And we all know how scary it feels when someone who we think we can’t live without is threatened from being taken from our lives.
We stay in bad relationships because we are scared of being alone. We stay with people that are toxic because they have become a part of us and we wouldn’t know what to do without them. We stay for the sake of having something, someone. We settle for the sake of comfort. We become needy for attention and love because we need someone else to satisfy that need of ours. We are so desperate to be with someone that we jump into relationships with people that we should have never seen as an option. We stay just because they know us and our story. We stay because we are scared we won’t ever find someone better than them. We stay because we don’t think anyone else can possibly know us better than them. We put what we want secondary to what others want. We allow our self-worth and self-esteem to be based off of what others think of us and how they treat us. We allow others to determine our mood. We lose ourselves in them.
Being single is a very empowering experience, but only if you allow it to be. Instead of looking at it as a curse, look at it as a blessing. You’re not single because there isn’t anyone out there for you. You’re not single because you’re not good enough. You have always been good enough.
“but you’ve always been
you’ve just been giving
the best parts of you
to the wrong people”
Embrace your time alone, your time being single, and live it up. Focus on what you want. Do what makes you happy. Do what makes you want to wake up in the morning. Do what lights a fire inside you. Appreciate not having to worry about anyone else. Discover who you are. Enjoy being able to do whatever you want. Freedom is one of the best parts of being single. Stay out late, do something crazy. Casually date, have a one night stand with a stranger, make new friends, and be free. Use this time to grow into the best version of yourself. Fix yourself. Make memories that will last you a life time. Become so comfortable and confident in who you are that you won’t allow anyone to change that. Because when you’re doing your own thing and living your life without worrying about anyone else the right people will come into your life. You can’t find love, love finds you.
Learn how to make yourself happy. Learn to put your happiness first. Learn to put yourself first. Learn to not ever need anyone else except yourself. Because once you learn that you’ll never have a hard time saying no or walking away from someone or something that isn’t good for you. You will never settle for anything less than what you deserve. You won’t ever fear being single. You’ll learn to love being single.
“find peace in being single
embrace the solitude”