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Why Can't I Make Friends in My 20s?

Too Awkward, Too Occupied, Too Scared?

By Eva ClairePublished 5 years ago 2 min read
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Friendship is something we go through life yearning for. It's something we need, and a lot of us can say we have it, or at least we did. I'm 22 years old, when I was 18, I had a squad of Taylor Swiftian proportions. There were parties, road trips, vacations, and talks that went on till four AM. Now, my squad is looking a bit depleted, namely, I could count them on one hand.

Is this because I suddenly became wholly intolerable, moved away, or became someone in need of a good Queer Eye-ing? Well, maybe, but probably not. College began, I started making friends there, you know, the circumstantial ones who you don't really vibe with, but for some reason you absolutely, categorically need them to like you?

Fast forward three years, I've graduated, my high school friends and I have drifted, my college friends move away to pursue careers or "find their bliss," and I'm left kind of wondering why the hell I'm sitting in every Saturday night? Where are the spontaneous road trips from high school? Where are my Lit major buddies that I liked doing semi-illegal things with?

So I'm on my own, I've sort of lost track of who I am and I just started studying to be a teacher. I don't really have the time to join Carly as she finds her bliss, and honestly, I feel lonely as hell. This smart therapist lady from LA, Vera Eck, says this is totally normal though, she says "humans are tribal and we need to make the effort to either find or create our own village."

If you're anything like me, namely lazy, awkward and super super turned off by the word "effort," this smart lady's advice makes you think "Ew, no thank you, another episode of Game of Thrones? Hello Mr. Harington..." But, stick with Vera for one second, I did and I think she's onto something.

Find your tribe. When you think about that, it sounds pretty nice, makes sense and gives you that warm fuzzy feeling. Get out there. And I get it, you're busy, we all are, but for the seconds that we're not, wouldn't it be cool to have some like minded people around to take a beat with?

Take a second to think about what you're into, whether that is Wednesday nights spent with the Mother of Dragons, or Saturday mornings playing ultimate frisbee. Get off you ass and find your people. It'll be awkward, a little messy and you might meet some real strange ones but, experiences are worth more than Saturday nights alone. Who knows, you might even give Taylor a run for her money...

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About the Creator

Eva Claire

22 year old student teacher, big fan of wine, taylor swift (and her mighty resurgence) and reasonably short walks on the beach

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