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Men. They are wonderful, strong, and amazing. Oh, how they do confuse us sometimes. Though not all made are made exactly the same, there are some who have traits that boggle our minds.
Let me set the scene.
You've had great chemistry and a great date with this amazing guy. He seems into you, he's happy, smiling, and overall cheerful. You say goodnight, small kiss, and then evening is over. A few days goes by and you text him to see if he wants to go out again. Nothing. Another day goes by and you text him again. Still nothing.
What's up with the radio silence?
There are some men out there who think that women will just GET IT. As in the silence will mean that they don't want to talk to you anymore. The question is why do men do this?
A past ex of mine said this: "I thought by the silence you could tell I didn't want to talk to you. If I don't answer back, you can take the hint."
Cold I know, but perhaps this is why women and men have such a difficult time with each other. I, of course, replied to him that doing such an immature move was really mean and pathetic. If you don't want to talk to a woman anymore just say so. Is it so hard to take five minutes out of your day to text, "I'm not interested." I don't think so.
Still, as women, we continue to text, hoping that he lost his phone, or he's too busy and he'll text back. This performance darn near frustrated the snot out of me. After our relationship had ended, I was asking to be friends, because he was a really cool guy and he shared my interests. He however, wasn't interested. I was too nice. Never heard that one before.
Nevertheless, I would have been fine if he had just told me straight that he wasn't interested. It's a jock move, something done by a jerk, or by someone who doesn't handle confrontation well.
Maybe men are afraid of the aftermath. There are quite a few people out there who don't like confrontation, and that's fine but you can't live your whole life afraid of confrontation.
What can you do?
You can stick to your guns. Don't let it upset you. If you text a guy and you don't get a response, call him out on it.
"I know what you're doing and it's not cool. Be a man and tell me you don't want to see me again."
Give it a few days before you text that. Make sure he for sure is ignoring you. In my case three weeks went by.
Send a text once a week, if you don't get a reply after that, roast him. Then move on and go find someone else. You'll find a genuine guy eventually. There are quite a few out there to be found.
Give what you get though. Nice guys don't like to be taken advantage of. Appreciate his time and he will appreciate yours, too.
Don't be discouraged. I know it's easy to get your buttons pushed, but don't let it deter you. Men and women are complex, each in their own beautiful way. Half the fun is figuring out your boyfriend's personality.
If he seems distant with you to begin with, you might want to do your own cut off. Don't mistake shyness for ignorance though. Shy guys will smile at you, but say hardly anything. Guys who ignore you will focus on other things and not you.
Watch checking is a sign he's not happy to be there. If he's constantly checking his watch or his phone, he's waiting on something else. Give him as much leeway as you can, and when he's used up all the rope, just cut it.
"Thanks for the night, but I should go."
If he says okay, bye, and just leaves, you're better off looking elsewhere. It could be he has something on his mind; he's worried or stressed. Don't call him out unless he really pushes the envelope. Like arguing about why you want to leave, or that you should stay. You can explain to him that you don't feel like he's really focused on your date. Give him a chance to explain; if he's sincere, you'll know. If he doesn't really care, he'll be dismissive of your concerns, focus on his own, and probably tell you you're lucky he decided to go out with you. Ignore that and just leave. You are the better person. Starting an argument will get you nowhere, and might land you on YouTube on some kid's channel where he only posted the argument. You don't want that.
How to Let a Guy Know You're Serious
Meeting in a bar or club usually means you don't want it to last. Why? You can't converse in a club, music is too loud, bodies everywhere and it is generally hot. In a bar, there is more ruckus, booze, and you have to watch your drink.
Meeting at a restaurant, coffee shop, or bookstore are a few ways to let the guy know you want more out of this than just tonight. It's totally fine if you just want one night, but for the women who are looking to make it last, pick somewhere you can talk easily the first date.
No parks, gardens, or anywhere you might be alone for too long. Get to know him first before you trust him. The ability to talk to your potential partner is vital. Your first date should always be one where you can talk, trade stories, get to know each other, and really spend time with each other.
My current boyfriend, who is the love of my life and my soul mate; took me mini golfing for our first date. We laughed, talked, had fun and really got to know each other. We played air hockey, went into the arcade, and had some fun there, then we went out for dinner after and were able to talk some more. We spent a good five hours with each other just talking and having fun. I've been with him a whole year now and he's the best thing in my life. If you are sincere, kind, and yourself, you will find someone wonderful who loves you for who you are.
You don't have to change yourself to find someone who will love you. Show off your funny side, your quirky side, happy side, or geeky side and embrace yourself. Show off the real you, and someone out there will love and appreciate your uniqueness just like you do!
Be safe out there and happy dating!